In my mind’s eye, I see myself with brown hair. Younger. A jogger like I was in college. I hear a melody in my head or on the radio and sing along. I can still hit some high notes. Once upon a time, I could hit four octaves. Now? Um, no way. I think back to the demo tapes I recorded and sent to a recording company back when I was in high school. They liked my voice, but I don’t write music. Never did. Hit a wall I couldn’t climb over. I sent an audition tape for The Lawrence Welk Show on the recommendation of one of their performers. Thanks, but no thanks, they said. My style was so different. Thankfully, so different!
On the stage from fourth grade on. I remember the solos I sang in the church choir and in our chorus in high school, the plays I was in. I think about the songs I sang at commencement for each of my graduating senior classes. Each year, each commencement, I noticed that my voice sounded . . . less. Not as strong and I didn’t have the power I had once upon a time.
At one time, I was fit and trim. When I stopped running/jogging, I rode my bike. Still like to, though I don’t do it much anymore. Maybe this summer? Later this spring? I walked like crazy, but then I had my knee scoped and my arthritis gnaws away on that knee and other joints some days. Still walk, though not at the pace I want or for the time I’d like.
I had a conversation with my brother-in-law, Mark, just a day or so ago. He and I are about the same age, me a little older. I semi-retired two years ago. Mark is considering retirement in the next year or two. He told me about a father-son softball game a few years back when his son was in college. Mark said he could hit, but on his way to first base, he blew a hamstring. Doesn’t seem like much, but it’s painful. The realization that we’re older. Older than we like to be, want to be. Older than we picture ourselves to be.
It sucks getting old! I really mean that! I’m not gracefully growing old, either. Sometimes I bitch and moan, at least in my mind. I am heavier than I should be. My hair is gray, and it is thin or spotty on top. I’m physically slower than I want to be.
I don’t like aging. It’s okay for others, just not for me. I know it happens, but I don’t have to like it, and I don’t.
I am at the age where my friends are dying. People I worked with, admired. My musical heroes. Actors and actresses I watched over and over. Gone. It saddens me, and each death reminds me mine is coming. Probably not right away, but anything can happen at any time, right?
Ever hear the phrase, “Act your age!”?
My response to that is, “No! Never! At least not willingly!” I refuse.
First of all, while I might forget a name attached to a face, my mind is still pretty sharp. I read voraciously, especially in the genre I write in: thriller-crime. I’ve written eight books so far and I’m finishing up number nine.
Laughter is good for the soul, and I love to laugh and do practical jokes. I can be a smart butt. I direct my humor more at myself than at others. Nicer, cleaner, safer that way. My body, though out of shape and overweight, is in good condition. Nothing major going on. Normal aches and pains.
In my mind’s eye, I see myself at age thirty, maybe forty. Not sixty-eight. No way! So if I don’t act like I’m sixty-eight, forgive me . . . or not. No matter to me.
But I will never, ever, act my age! I will sing and laugh to my grave. I invite you to do the same. On the way to my funeral, I might dance. Nothing against the next world, but I will go screaming and kicking and not before I’m ready- God willing! His decision, not mine. Something to think about . . .
Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!
To My Readers:
I was interviewed on a UK radio show this morning about my writing and my newest book, Blaze In, Blaze Out. For those who missed it, they will repeat the show on Sunday, April 24 at 8:30 AM EST. Follow this link: I hope you give it a listen!
If you have read one of my books, I would like to ask a favor. If you could go online and write a review or, at the least, give a rating on the book, it would be of great help. Both a review and a rating would be wonderful. The review could be one or two lines. It doesn’t have to be long. Just let others know you read it and hopefully, enjoyed it. Obviously, 4s and 5s are the best. Thanks for this consideration.
Connect with me on Social Media:
Author Website: www.jrlewisauthor.blog/
Twitter at @jrlewisauthor
Facebook at: www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author
Amazon at: www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI /
Blaze In, Blaze Out: A Literary Titan Gold Book Award Winner! A Reader’s Ready Recommended Read! A BestThriller’s Editor’s Pick!
Eiselmann and O’Connor thought the conviction of Dmitry Andruko, the head of a Ukrainian crime family, meant the end. It was only the beginning. They forgot that revenge knows no boundaries, vindictiveness knows no restraints, and ruthlessness never worries about collateral damage. Andruko hired contract killers to go after and kill O’Connor and Eiselmann. The killers can be anyone and be anywhere. They can strike at any time. They care nothing of collateral damage. Andruko believes a target is a target, and in the end, the target must die. https://amzn.to/34lNllP
Betrayed: A PenCraft 1st Place Winner for Thriller-Fiction! A Maxy Award Runner-Up for Mystery/Suspense! A Literary Titan Silver Book Award Winner! A Reader’s Ready Recommended Read Award Winner! A Reader’s Favorite Honorable Mention Award Winner for Fiction-Crime-Mystery!
Betrayed is Now Available in Audio Book, Kindle and Paperback! https://amzn.to/3AfUUpS
late-night phone call, a missing kid, a murdered family, but no one is talking.
A promise is made and kept, but it could mean the death of a fifteen-year-old
boy. Greed can be all-consuming, and seeing is not believing. No one can be
trusted, and the hunters become the hunted. https://amzn.to/2EKHudx
Spiral Into Darkness: Named a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!
He blends in. He is successful, intelligent, and methodical. So far, he has murdered eight people. There is no discernible pattern. There are no clues. There are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, do not know they are the next targets. Neither does their family. And neither does local law enforcement. https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm
Caught in a Web: A PenCraft Literary Award Winner! Named “One of the Best Thrillers of 2018!” by BestThrillers.com
Caught in a Web is also available in Audio Book, Kindle and Paperback! http://bit.ly/2WO3kka
found the bodies of high school and middle school kids dead from an overdose of
heroin and fentanyl. A violent gang, MS-13, controls the drug trade along the
I-94 and I-43 corridors. They send Ricardo Fuentes to find out who is cutting
in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an
ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay. Detectives
Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the
drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696
The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they live in separate parts of the country, the lives of Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and 11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their futures grow dark as each search for a way out. https://amzn.to/34nXBH5
Book One, Stolen Lives: Editor’s Pick by BestThrillers! Literary Titan Gold Book Award Winner! A Crime Thriller finalist in the 2021 Best Thriller Book Awards!
Two thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they will end up like the other kids they found- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. To make the investigation that much tougher, Kelliher suspects that one of his team members might be involved. https://amzn.to/3oMo4qZ
Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
The boys are home, but now they have to fit back in with their families and friends. Their parents and the FBI thought the boys were safe. They were until people began dying. Now the hunt is on for six dangerous and desperate men who vow revenge. With no leads and nothing to go on, the FBI can only sit back and wait. A dangerous game that threatens not only the boys, but their families. https://amzn.to/2RAYIk2
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
Three dangerous men with nothing to lose offer a handsome reward to anyone willing to kill fourteen-year-old Brett McGovern. He does not know that he, his younger brother, and a friend are targets. More than anyone, these three men vow to kill George, whom they blame for forcing them to run and hide. A fun vacation turns into a nightmare and ends where it started, back on the Navajo Nation Reservation, high on a mesa held sacred by George and his grandfather. Outnumbered and outgunned, George will make the ultimate sacrifice to protect his adoptive father and his adoptive brothers- but can he? Without knowing who these men are? Or where they are? Without knowing whom to trust? Is he prepared for betrayal that leads to his heartbreak and death? http://bit.ly/SplinteredLives
Photo Courtesy of Nikoline Arns and Unsplash.