Inches

I am a diehard Green Bay Packer fan and Wisconsin Badgers fan, but I admit I love sports. While I don’t particularly care for baseball, I follow the Milwaukee Brewers because it is our home team. Same can be said about the Milwaukee Bucks. Not a real fan of pro basketball, but the Bucks are from Milwaukee. What can I say? 

Those of you who read and followed my previous posts know I was a basketball coach, both high school and two years at the collegiate level as a graduate assistant. I honestly and sincerely can’t play the game. I have no left hand, and I cannot jump or shoot. Being seventy-years-old and getting a hip replacement in February, I am not fast or quick. I never was. 

My players used to laugh at me. One summer running a basketball camp, I caught some of the players laughing. I asked what they were laughing at, and one brave senior, Mike, explained they were taking bets if I could jump and hit the net.  

Hmmm … 

I should have just laughed along with them, but to prove them wrong, I said not only could I jump and touch the net, but I could hit the fat part of the strings. That caused them to laugh even more. So, like a fool, I ran and jumped, but came more than a few inches away from hitting the net- completely, and not just the fat part of the net. Can you say, “Humble pie?” 

But I could coach the game. Two-time coach of the year. One state championship, one state runner-up, and one state consolation championship. Not bad for eight years of high school coaching. However, I wasn’t a great coach, per se, but I think I was a pretty good motivator. I had terrific athletes, players who could shoot and jump and who were tenacious on defense. Sincerely, I give all the credit to my players and my coaches. They made me look good, and I think we all had fun on that ride. 

Last night, Kim and I watched the Packers play the 49ers in the playoffs. 49ers were the number one seed, while the Packers, the youngest team in the league, were the seventh seed. We weren’t supposed to win, and we didn’t.

Yet … 

If the field goal was about six or seven inches to the right, the score might have been different. When the Packers went for it on 4^th and inches and failed to get a first down, the game might have had a different outcome. If two passes would have been a couple of inches more on target, a drive would have stayed alive and again, the ending of the game might have been different from what it was. 

In the end, the field goal was missed, the 4^th and inches wasn’t met, and the two passes weren’t completed- except to the other team. All three outcomes led to the score being what it was. The team that should have won, did. The team that shouldn’t have won, didn’t. 

If and inches …

Did the Packers fail? Perhaps on the scoreboard, if that’s the only thing you take into consideration. But did our first- and second-year receivers make a difference this year? A resounding yes. How about our first- and second-year defenders? How about the quarterback, whose first year as a starter set records? How about the team who wasn’t supposed to be in the playoffs in the first place- did they fail? Again, only if you look at the scoreboard, and in this day and age- for some- only the scoreboard matters.

But there is much the Packers can build on, and a message was sent to the rest of the league last night. A message of hope and optimism for Packer fans, and a not-so-subtle message to “just wait until next year …!” for the rest of the league. 

In our lives, how often do we just miss out on something we go after? If we would have tried a little harder, went after it a little sooner, been a little faster? If and inches … 

It takes 212 degrees Fahrenheit for water to boil. Not 211 degrees, but 212 degrees. One degree makes a difference, just like a couple of inches either way makes a difference. Often, our minds, not our bodies, let us down. We tell ourselves we can’t, instead of telling ourselves, yes, we can. One degree. One or two inches. Effort and belief. Not just in sports, but in life. All the difference in the world. Something to think about …

To My Readers:  

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab. You can find all nine books, their descriptions, and links for purchase at the same site. I can also be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/storiesbyjrlewis

For your convenience, here is the description and purchase link for Caught in a Web, a PenCraft Literary Award Winner, and a book BestThrillers named, “One of the best conspiracy thrillers of 2018!” and Midwest Review wrote, “…the right blend of tension and intrigue …”

“This important, nail-biting crime thriller about MS-13 sets the bar very high. One of the year’s best thrillers.” –Best Thrillers

The bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of heroin and fentanyl. The drug trade along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the Milwaukee Metro area is controlled by MS-13, a violent gang originating from El Salvador. Ricardo Fuentes is sent from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had killed his cousin the previous summer.

Detectives Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else, especially George or members of his family. The three detectives discover the ring has its roots in a high school among the students and staff.

What’s worse than revenge and death? Not knowing you are the target. PenCraft Literary Award Winner!

https://amzn.to/2GrU51T

Photograph courtesy of Bozhin Karaivanov and Unsplash

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Than Disturbing

 I had every intention of publishing this over the weekend, but I needed a little more time to process it and make sure I used proper words to convey what I wanted to say. It’s too important of a topic.

This past weekend, I watched a movie, Sound of Freedom, that is based on the true story of Tim Ballard, an agent for Homeland Security, played in the movie believably, if not expertly, by Jim Caviezel. The story dealt with human trafficking, and in this case, with children. Again, I want to say it is based on a true story. 

In 2013, Roberto Aguilar, a poor father of two from Tegucigalpa, Honduras, is approached by a former beauty queen, Giselle. She offers to sign his young children, Rocío and Miguel Aguilar, to child modeling contracts. The father accepts and takes them to the photoshoot. When he returns to pick his children up, they are gone. It is revealed that the children have been abducted and sold to be used as sex slaves. (Wikipedia)

When I was a counselor in California, I had volunteered to work as an adjunct educator for the Wetterling Foundation for Stranger Abducted and Sexually Exploited Children. The organization still exists, but I believe the name has changed. My job was to educate parents and caring adults on how to protect children and to spot signs of possible exploitation, and I taught kids how to protect themselves. 

Jerry and Patty Wetterling’s son, Jacob, was abducted one night in October 1989, in front of his younger brother and his best friend on the way back from a convenience store after they rented a movie and purchased candy. The abductor wore a mask and had a gun, and in the early to middle nineties when I worked for the foundation, this accounted for about 1% of all abductions (FBI statistics). Jacob was never found until 2016 when a suspect confessed to the crime and led authorities to Jacob’s remains. Jacob had died from a gunshot the same evening he was abducted.

When Kim and I had our children, Wil, age seven adopted from Guatemala, and Hannah, born to us naturally, I had to take a step back from my speaking because instead of picturing Jacob Wetterling, Elizabeth Smart, Johnny Gosch, and others, I pictured Wil and Hannah. But I always wanted to tell the story of missing kids, of kids who had been abused sexually, emotionally.   

As a counselor, I had thought I had heard it all from kids and parents, but each next story shared with me was a horror unto itself. One story doesn’t compare with another, even though the circumstances are mostly the same. In most instances, the abuse takes place by someone known to the child and the family, and is often a family member, immediate or extended. It is both tragic and horrific.

What many don’t know is that human trafficking is a $140 million dollar industry, and the underbelly of the United States is and has been involved. I applaud the men and women who work to put an end to all of it. They work tirelessly, and in most cases, in the shadows outside of the spotlight. They deserve much more credit than they receive. God Bless! 

As I said, I had always wanted to share the stories of the kids and parents who, behind closed doors, shared their stories with me. So in 2014, my first book Taking Lives, Prequel to the Lives Trilogy, and my second book, Stolen Lives, First Book of the Lives Trilogy, were published. I’ve won an award or two for Stolen, and both books rose as high as #3 and #4 on Amazon, which is pretty remarkable for a first-time author. While they are stories of abduction and sexual exploitation, the series is a story of hope and survival, of strength. And the awards, while nice, meant, and mean, nothing to me, because human trafficking still exists. 

Recently, a fellow author, Cam Torrens, wrote an award-winning book, Stable, which takes a different point of view on the subject. Torrens uses his expertise in Search and Rescue to tell his tale. A brilliant book and terrific writing.

For your convenience, I listed the links for purchase below in case you are interested. They are dark reads, but worth it. As I said, they are stories of hope and survival. 

But the main point I want to make is that we, as citizens of a great country, need to protect our most vulnerable from predators. We need to protect our children- and the children of other countries- from being exploited and preyed upon. It will take more than those in law enforcement entrusted to rooting out this evil. There aren’t enough agents and officers, so it will take all of us. All of us. Please help. Please. Something to think about …

To My Readers:  

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab. I can also be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/storiesbyjrlewis   

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:

FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they live in separate parts of the country, the lives of Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and 11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their futures grow dark as each search for a way out. https://amzn.to/34nXBH5  

Book One, Stolen Lives: Editor’s Pick by BestThrillers! Literary Titan Gold Book Award Winner! A Crime Thriller finalist in the 2021 Best Thriller Book Awards!

Two thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they will end up like the other kids they found- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. To make the investigation that much tougher, Kelliher suspects that one of his team members might be involved. https://amzn.to/3oMo4qZ   

Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:

The boys are home, but now they have to fit back in with their families and friends. Their parents and the FBI thought the boys were safe. They were until people began dying. Now the hunt is on for six dangerous and desperate men who vow revenge. With no leads and nothing to go on, the FBI can only sit back and wait. A dangerous game that threatens not only the boys, but their families. https://amzn.to/2RAYIk2 
 
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:

Three dangerous men with nothing to lose offer a handsome reward to anyone willing to kill fourteen-year-old Brett McGovern. He does not know that he, his younger brother, and a friend are targets. More than anyone, these three men vow to kill George, whom they blame for forcing them to run and hide. A fun vacation turns into a nightmare and ends where it started, back on the Navajo Nation Reservation, high on a mesa held sacred by George and his grandfather. Outnumbered and outgunned, George will make the ultimate sacrifice to protect his adoptive father and his adoptive brothers- but can he? Without knowing who these men are? Or where they are? Without knowing whom to trust? Is he prepared for betrayal that leads to his heartbreak and death? http://bit.ly/SplinteredLives   

Stable, by Cam Torrens

From debut author Cam Torrens comes a gut-wrenching suspense novel based on an actual missing person case.

A 911 call sends Search & Rescue on a search for a missing girl in the Collegiate Peaks. They find a child…but not the one they seek.

Air Force pilot Tyler Zahn's life disintegrated when he lost his son. He discarded his family, his career, and his dignity, finding solace in apathy and beer. Eight years later, armed with new confidence, he invites his estranged daughter, Daria, to visit his Rocky Mountain home. Zahn tries too hard to mend their relationship, and as the tension between father and daughter increases, forgiveness seems out of reach. Especially when his Search & Rescue work pulls him away from Daria and she finds romance at the church camp next door.

But Zahn can't get the missing girl he found—and the one he can't find—out of his mind. Someone in this mountain valley is collecting children, and Zahn is gradually drawn into the case while still trying to break through to his daughter.

Then she disappears too. http://tinyurl.com/568t38tv

Photo Courtesy of Loren Joseph and Unsplash

Last of Christmas

The last piece of kringle sits lonely on a plate on the counter, next to the tins where Kim stored her baked Christmas cookies. I counted four left, three of one, and one of the other. Both my favorites. I saved the last piece of kringle for Kim, but it’s fifty-fifty if she eats it. She might save it for me, but I will hold back for her. It’s how we roll. 

The recyclers took our Christmas tree on Friday, the last fresh tree we will ever purchase. Kim and I decided to go with a nice artificial tree, on sale, for the years to come. Not sure how I feel about that yet. I think Kim is uncertain as well. 

The decorations have been taken down and put away in cupboards or in plastic bins and stored in the closet off the downstairs family room. All the everyday things are back on walls or on counters. All of this took place last week. Sadly, so.

Still waiting on a present each for Emily and Hannah. Should have been here by now, and I’m guessing they might never arrive. All of my other gifts have been tried on and put away. The four books I received will be read this year, and I’ve already begun one and I’m enjoying it immensely. It’s a thriller-crime-mystery by Patterson, the same genre my nine books and my soon-to-be-published #10 is in. I enjoy reading in the same genre as what I write.

We went back to school this past week. Me, for one day because I’m part time, while Kim worked two days as called for by her contract. Emily began this past week, too. So did Alex and Q. Hannah starts tomorrow. All back at our jobs, doing what we do.

No more Christmas movies- Hannah’s and Emily’s thing. Kim and I watch them only when the girls are here. A bit too sappy for us, but pleasant enough. No more Christmas music- something I enjoy. I favor the traditional carols with a few newer tunes by some of my favorite artists thrown in here and there. The peaceful, lush harmonies bring back memories of Christmas’s past. At age 70, it doesn’t take much to nudge me back in time, reminiscing. 

Gone is the hustle, the sometimes frantic pace of buying and wrapping presents, of cleaning so the house looks just right for guests. Gone is the family all together with laughter and quiet conversation, the family meals made with love and joy. Neighbors taking down or who have already taken down their outside decorations. And the last to disappear are the Salvation Army volunteers collecting money for those in need. All gone, all of it. 

But it doesn’t have to be. Really it doesn’t. 

Christmas is much more than that. It’s far beyond house decorations and Christmas cookies, kringle and Christmas movies. It is far beyond the deeply rooted feelings we have at this time of year. As my brothers and sisters said to their children and as I said to my children, Christmas will be in our hearts. Should be in our hearts all year, each month, each day. Needs to be in our hearts. 

The peace we feel at Christmas and the hope we have at New Year’s needs to last all year, every year. And why can’t it? We let it slip away and become an afterthought until next year, when all the decorations and baking, all the buying and wrapping, begin again. That’s on us, and it doesn’t, shouldn’t be this way. Can we make a concerted effort to keep the peaceful feelings we had, the gentleness we felt towards family and others all year and for everyone we encounter each day? Imagine what our world- personal and extended- might be like if we did. Just imagine. As always, something to think about …

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference! 

To My Readers:  

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab.  

And if you’re curious, you can check out my nine books on the same site. I’ve won nearly twenty awards, and I write in the thriller-crime-mystery genre, but with a coming-of-age thread in each. My latest book, Fan Mail, just won a 2023 Silver Book Award and a Recommended Read Award, and was featured as Author of the Month from Reader’s Favorites. 

There will be some up-coming promotional deals through my publisher, Black Rose Writing, this month and possibly next. I also have a sale and signing event on Feb. 17^th at Barnes & Noble in Central Park here in Fredericksburg, Virginia from 2:00 – 7:00 PM. These events are always fun. 

If you are an author or writer, veteran or beginner, check out my Author’s Blog tab on the same site. There you will find tips on writing, interviews with other authors, and excerpts from my own books. If you want to get a hold of me, use the Contact tab. 

I hope you check it out. Again, my writing can be found at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com 

I can also be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/storiesbyjrlewis  

Photo Courtesy of Joseph Lewis.

 

 

 

An Orange from a Lime Tree

 Each morning, after getting myself ready for the day, I have two devotionals I read from. One is a book of Bible verses, and the other is a daily devotional. The devotional begins with a Bible verse, and then someone expands upon it in about three or four paragraphs. Some are better than others. 

I’ve been reading these same two books for years now. When finished, I simply turn to the first page and begin again. Some I remember well, while others I forget because they didn’t touch me. 

I recently read a meaningful passage from this same devotional. I remembered it as soon as I began reading the first sentence. It came from Dr. Clayton Cloer of Orlando, Florida. It’s the kind of message that sticks to your heart, so I thought I would share part of his message with you. Dr. Cloer wrote:

In 2003, I was called to be the pastor of the Church at the Cross in Orlando. A new friend I made after arriving, Bill, came to my house and planted an orange tree in my backyard as a gift. He told me that in three years we would have oranges. In 2006, I wanted to pick the oranges, but they stayed green most of the year. Finally, a few turned semi-orange, so I picked them and winced as I tasted the sourest flavor. Bill came out to see if the tree had a bitter root- only to discover that he had not planted an orange tree but a lime tree by mistake.

I have news for you. It does not matter how long you wait for oranges from a lime tree: it will never produce oranges. The fruit revealed the root. I had expected oranges, but the tree would never have the ability to produce them.

When you hear bad words out of a person, then you have a bad root. Listen to people and discern their hearts by the words that they speak. Things do not change: they only get revealed … What is in the well comes up in the bucket …

What is in the well comes up in the bucket.

I have long believed that words and actions reveal the character of a person. One just needs to look at the present political culture to figure that out. We get who we vote for, and if we don’t vote, we get who everyone else votes for. 

I think as parents and as mentors and role models for children and young adults, we owe them our best. Our best words and our best actions. We owe them genuineness. What isn’t said or done out of love and compassion, caring and concern, should not be said or done.

And, if we say words, we need to live those words each and every day. I believe in the axiom that actions speak louder than words. But if someone spews hate and if someone seeks to divide instead of unite, BELIEVE them. They are who they are. Don’t expect an orange from a lime tree. Something to think about …

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:  

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab. 

And if you’re curious, you can check out my nine books on the same site. I’ve won nearly twenty awards, and I write in the thriller-crime-mystery genre, but with a coming-of-age thread in each. My latest book, Fan Mail, just won a 2023 Silver Book Award and a Recommended Read Award, and was featured as Author of the Month from Reader’s Favorites.

If you are an author or writer, veteran or beginner, check out my Author’s Blog tab on the same site. There you will find tips on writing, interviews with other authors, and excerpts from my own books. If you want to get a hold of me, use the Contact tab. 

I hope you check it out. Again, my writing can be found at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com 

I can also be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/storiesbyjrlewis  

Dr. Cloer’s message is from Grace, Hope and Love, My Daily Devotional.

Photo Courtesy of Amy Lynn Grover and Unsplash.

 

 

 

The Season

Like many of you reading this post and following my blog, the Christmas season is one of my favorites. Family gathering together, the laughter and sharing of stories, the holiday treats my wife, Kim, bakes, the delicious kringles we order, savoring every bite, the decorated tree in the family room with presents galore underneath, the decorations around the house, some of which have been in our family for years. The holiday and Christmas music played. All of it.

Mostly, I think, is the warm nostalgic feelings of love and tenderness and compassion, caring and concern that fill our hearts. I love sitting back and watching everyone open up their presents. Some large, some small, but all wrapped in colored paper and given in love. I love the meals that are prepared. 

I love this time of year, and I’m sure you do, too. 

For many, there will be the struggle of someone important and loved missing from the table. The empty chair, as it were. For some, there will be aloneness and loneliness. Those who will be by themselves, eating and celebrating (or not) alone. No one to talk to, visit with, laugh with. No warm embraces or the sharing of smiles and touch. I hope their season, their days are gentle and warm. 

I think of them, and I’m sure you do, too.

I felt the need to reach out to each of you and ask that God blesses each of you and your families near and far. Please know I appreciate your thoughts, your kindness, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my posts. I hope they mean something to you. I hope they bring you warmth and I hope they cause you to think.

From my family: Kim, Alex, Hannah and Mason, and Q and Emily, and me, I hope you are blessed and loved. I hope you are cared for and hugged, and I hope your thoughts and feelings are kind to you and to others. God Bless, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

As always, something to think about …

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:  

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab. 

And if you’re curious, you can check out my nine books on the same site. I’ve won nearly twenty awards, and I write in the thriller-crime-mystery genre, but with a coming-of-age thread in each. My latest book, Fan Mail, just won a 2023 Silver Book Award and a Recommended Read from Reader’s Favorites.

If you are an author or writer, veteran or beginner, check out my Author’s Blog tab on the same site. If you want to get a hold of me, use the Contact tab. 

I hope you check it out. Again, my writing can be found at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com 

I can also be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/storiesbyjrlewis  

Photos Courtesy of Rodion Kutsaiev and Unsplash, and the Lewis Family

The Breakfast Club

Over the many years I’ve written this blog, I’ve used this platform to inspire and to engage the heart and soul of each reader. From the feedback I’ve received, I think I’ve done that. In this Holiday, Christmas, Hanukkah season, I think it’s even more important to do that so we don’t lose the focus on just giving and receiving gifts, but the ‘why’ we celebrate these seasons. These seasons, this season, is holy for a reason, no matter your faith (or not) and no matter your religion (or not).

As a kid and well into adult, I would attend Midnight Mass at Holy Angels Church in West Bend, Wisconsin. It was something I enjoyed, even yearned to do. The singing, the candles, the incense. The beauty and the pageantry. It all held, and holds, a special meaning to me. This is Christ’s season, our season, and it is more than just wrapping presents and giving and opening up gifts.

Sometimes, the gifts are so big, they don’t fit under the tree. And the true, real gifts happen throughout the year, not just at Christmas time.

I found one example on TikTok from CBS news ...  

At the crack of dawn in St. Louis, MO, students from Bishop DeBerg High School go to Grandma Peggy’s house for breakfast. They call it, The Breakfast Club. It began when several students went to a diner and Sam Crowe, a sophomore, said (paraphrasing), “You know, my grandmother cooks better than this.”

So the following Wednesday, and virtually every Wednesday since throughout the school year, Sam and his friends, along with many other students, ate breakfast at Grandma Peggy’s house. She invited them in and welcomed them. No race, creed, or color prevented them from partaking. 

Then one day, Peggy’s grandson, Sam, was killed in a hit and run. Sam was beloved. Peggy was heartsick. She didn’t know if The Breakfast Club would continue after Sam’s death. Neither did the kids. Breakfast was the last thing on anyone’s mind.

Yet …

The very next Wednesday, and virtually every Wednesday since in numbers greater than when they first began, students showed up at Grandma Peggy’s house. Healing was served along with breakfast. 

As one boy said, “It’s not about the food. It’s about being together.” Another said, “We benefit from her, and she benefits from us. It’s like we feed off each other.” And still another said, “We’re keeping his memory alive.” 

All of us grieve differently. But those who handle grief best blanket themselves with others, sharing the burden, teaching each other to laugh again, and building tradition.

“We benefit from her, and she benefits from us.”

Isn’t that the truth? When we give freely from the heart, the gift we give- big or small- does as much for the recipient as it does for the giver. The delight in the eyes, the warm feeling in the heart. The goosebumps, the tiny shivers. Both the recipient and the giver know when it isn’t just a formality. We know it because we feel it. 

Just like Grandma Peggy and the kids in The Breakfast Club, they know the gift they are giving and receiving. As one student said, “She’s our grandma now.” 

I have to think that somewhere up above, Sam is smiling down on Grandma Peggy and his friends, proud of what he started, and prouder still, of what it means to everyone. And I think Sam is there with them each Wednesday, always with them, sharing in the laughter, the stories, and, of course, the breakfast served and eaten in love. Something to think about …

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers: 

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab.

And if you’re curious, you can check out my nine books on the same site. I’ve won nearly twenty awards, and I write in the thriller-crime-mystery genre, but with a coming-of-age thread in each. 

If you are an author or writer, veteran or beginner, check out my Author’s Blog tab on the same site. If you want to get a hold of me, use the Contact tab. 

I hope you check it out. Again, my writing can be found at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com

I can also be found on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/storiesbyjrlewis  

 

 

 

 

 

Our Children

Early morning, the world dark, not even shadows. I sat in the bedroom’s corner in a rocking chair, the same chair Kim and I used for both Hannah and Emily at their time. A different time, a different place. No one awake, except for maybe Kim. I tried to be as quiet as I could be, letting her sleep for as long as she needed. No one else awake except for me, and for just a smidgeon of time, Mason. In my arms, held tightly to my chest as I rocked and patted his back.

Raining off and on most of the night. I imagined the world dark, dreary, and damp with ghost-like fingers of fog creeping in amongst the trees in our backyard. Honestly, didn’t dwell on that, but of Mason sleeping in my arms. His perfect smell, his warmth. 

At first, his head nestled in my neck, rigid, his tiny hand grasping my finger. Then, as I rocked and patted his back, his breathing changed, his body grew limp. He understood he was safe, protected. Still grasping my finger, not letting go. Oh, I held on and on, happy and content, not at all tired, Mason not at all heavy in my arms. 

My mind drifted to long ago. First, Hannah in my arms, both of her tiny hands wrapped around fingers of my hand as I tried to feed her a bottle in the dark of night. Her eyes studying my face, not interested in the bottle past the first few gulps. Just studying my face before falling back to sleep. Me holding her, loving her, as much as I did then and do now. Oh, so much. 

Then to Emily. Always thirsty, wanting more, yet the same need and contentment being held, fingers of her hand grasping mine. A heavier, bigger baby than Hannah, yet so small. A different time, a different place. 

Do they understand I am wrapped around their fingers, their heart? It will always be so. 

How our children wanting, needing to be held, to hold. Comfortable in our arms, hearts beating the same rhythm, the same slow beat. Our arms to comfort, to protect- as much for them as it is for us. Their tiny bodies fitting like puzzle pieces snuggly, tightly, correctly in our arms. Hearing their laughter, their quiet sighs, their yawns.

Our children, merely babies at first, helpless and dependent upon us. Then, growing to toddlers, to children exploring their world, always coming back to us for shelter, for guidance, asking questions, seeking love and reassurance. Then onto young adults and then older adults with lives and loves and families of their own, leaving us as they pave their own way in their world, the world of their making. 

And as we grow older, wiser with experience, with love, and sometimes tempered with pain and failure, how much more we need them then (now?), even though they are independent, apart from us, different cities, different states, worlds and lives of their own. 

Yet we long to be held, and we seek that same comfort we gave them, their love, the same love we gave them- sometimes expressed with words, but more often through their eyes, their smiles, their infrequent visits. 

And while we text and sometimes call, the distance is only almost cut in half, not perfectly, not nearly close enough, never enough for me, for you. The texts, the calls, bring comfort, but not as warm or friendly or as satisfying as their touch. Never like their touch. 

But we make do, knowing that in the end (and the end is coming at some point- for us) creeps closer, stealthily, silently, dangerously closer. Until then, we hang on, grasping their hands, knowing our hearts are wound tightly, beating softly, yet with urgency for them, along with them. Sometimes not knowing how we feel, and us, not sure how we can express it, only to love them, protect them, and give them as only a mom or dad can, hoping and wondering if what we did for them, are doing for them is and was enough? God, I hope so! Hoping beyond hope, that after we pass, they, too, will find shelter and protection, comfort and love to last their lifetime and beyond. Yes, beyond. Something to think about … 

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference! 

To My Readers:

Connect with me on Social Media: 

Author Website at: https://www.jrlewisauthor.com     

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My Books, Their Descriptions, and Links to Purchase

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:  https://amzn.to/34nXBH5  

FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and 11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way out.     

Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives: Literary Titan Gold Book Award Winner! Best Thriller’s Editor’s Pick! Best Thrillers Runner Up Award Winner!  https://amzn.to/3oMo4qZ 

Two thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved.

Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives: https://amzn.to/2RAYIk2

Six men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them.                                       

Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:  http://bit.ly/SplinteredLives 

A 14-year-old boy knows the end is coming. What he doesn’t know is when, where, or by whom. Without that knowledge, the FBI cannot protect him or his family. And he cannot protect himself, his father, or his brothers.                                                  

Caught in a Web: A PenCraft Literary Award Winner! Named “One of the Best Thrillers of 2018!” by BestThrillers http://bit.ly/2WO3kka

Now Available in Audio Book, Kindle and Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Caught-in-Web-Joseph-Lewis-audiobook/dp/B07RP42BXH/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1700666203&sr=8-1

Bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of heroin and fentanyl. MS-13, a violent gang originating in California, controls the drug, sex, and gun trades along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the Milwaukee Metro area. They send an enforcer, Ricardo Fuentes from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had killed his cousin the previous summer.

Spiral Into Darkness: Named a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!  https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm

He blends in and is successful, intelligent, and methodical. He has a list and has murdered eight on it so far. There is no discernible pattern, no clues, and there are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, do not know they are the next targets. Neither does their family, and neither does law enforcement.

Betrayed: A Best Thriller’s 1^st Place Award for Crime Fiction! Maxy Award Runner-Up! A Literary Titan Silver Book Award Winner!  https://amzn.to/2EKHudx

Now Available in Audio Book, Kindle and Paperback!  https://amzn.to/3AfUUpS 

A late-night phone call, a missing kid, a murdered family, but no one is willing to talk. A promise is made and kept, but it could mean the death of a fifteen-year-old boy. Seeing is not believing. No one can be trusted, and the hunters become the hunted.

Blaze In, Blaze Out – Best Action Fiction Book of 2022- Best Thrillers! Reader’s Favorite Runner Up! Literary Titan Gold Book Award! https://amzn.to/34lNllP

Now Available in Audio Book, Kindle and Paperback! https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Blaze-In-Out/dp/B0C6FKHJZ8/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1700665936&sr=8-1

Detectives Eiselmann and O’Connor thought the conviction of a Ukrainian gang lord meant the end, but it was only the beginning. They forgot that revenge knows no boundaries, vindictiveness knows no restraints, and ruthlessness never worries about collateral damage. A target is a target, and in the end, the target will die. Eiselmann and O’Connor become the hunted, but they don’t know by whom or when they will strike. 

Fan Mail – New Release! A Reader’s Favorite Silver Book Award! Maxy Award Finalist! Eric Hoffer Award Nominee! Literary Titan Silver Book Award!  https://amzn.to/3eNgSdS 

A barrage of threatening letters, a car bomb, and a heart attack rip apart what was once a close-knit family of adopted brothers. Randy and Bobby, along with fellow band member and best friend, Danny, receive fan mail that turns menacing. They ignore it, but to their detriment. The sender turns up the heat. Violence upends their world. It rocks the relationship between the boys and ripples through their family, nearly killing their dad.

As these boys turn on each other, adopted brother Brian flashes back to that event in Arizona where he nearly lost his life saving his brothers. The scars on his face and arms healed, but not his heart.

Would he once again have to put himself in harm’s way to save them? And if faced with that choice, will he?

Fan Mail is a Coming-of-Age story embedded in a Thriller-Crime-Mystery. 

Photos Courtesy of the Lewis Family