Cut Bait

I’m not a fisherman.  It wasn’t anything we did as a family or that I did growing up.  I lived next to a river, however, and every now and then I would see a fisherman or two with their cane poles or fancy rod and reel, maybe with a packed lunch and a blanket to sit on.  One or two might stand and cast. Others might be content to sit on the bank and catch a nap as well as a fish or two.

I remember back in high school about a hundred years ago reading two stories that I remember vividly.  Old Man and the Sea by Hemingway is a story about a battle of wills and skills.  Santiago went 84 days without catching anything, but on the 85^th day, he sets out and catches a marlin. The guy struggles for two days and two nights to land the fish.  On the third day, exhausted, worn out and near delirium, he harpoons the fish, straps it to his boat and heads home.  Unfortunately for him, sharks feed on it and by the time he got to shore, it was a mere skeleton.  Talk about a bummer!  In Moby Dick by Melville, Captain Ahab wants to kill the white whale that in a previous encounter ruined his boat and bit off his leg.  Ahab wants to exact revenge, but it costs him his life and that of his crew. Yup, another bummer!

I think the two stories are similar in that the central characters struggle continuously and don’t give in and don’t give up.  It costs them dearly: physically and emotionally.  There is something to be said about keeping up the good fight, to keep trying, to not quitting.  But at some point, a realization needs to set in and cause questions to be asked, “Is it worth it?” and perhaps “At what cost . . .?” 

There are marlins in our own lives, white whales that we chase.  Sometimes for the pursuit of it, sometimes out of revenge.  They are personal.  We can rationalize about them and find some sort of justification for them.  They are near and dear to us.  We pursue them vigorously.  Yet in the end, they are as elusive as the marlin or as the white whale.  Perhaps, just as destructive.  At some point, it might be necessary to cut bait and move on.  Our lives, our health might be better for it.  The lives or health of those around us might be better for it.  Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

Heroes

I’ve had many heroes in my life.  My brother has always been a hero.  I wanted to be like him.  I played football because he did.  I chose to the same college he did and went into education just as he had.  Later in life, I understood that my dad was a hero.  I grew into that realization gradually.  I came to understand that he influenced me in more ways than I can imagine and one of my biggest heartaches is that I never got to tell him. 

It wasn’t so much in what my dad said to me or did with me.  To be honest, I can’t remember if he and I had any lengthy conversations about life, the future, or any of the ‘great’ questions.  He was a quiet guy who loved to laugh.  Boy, did he work hard!  Ten mouths to feed, to clothe and to put through school.  I never, ever heard him complain.  He accepted his life, loved us and went about living.

I coached a basketball player by the name of Dale.  He was, by any measure, a very good player.  He led the conference in scoring and rebounding and ended up with a full ride at a Midwestern university.  He was named Captain as a sophomore, unheard of in that era and the first underclassman given that honor in that school’s history.  My varsity and my coaches and I would sit in the stands and watch the junior varsity team play, and I remember one game where Dale came up to me and asked if he could speak to me.  He apologized for his “poor play” the game previous.  As I recall, it wasn’t necessarily a “Dale kind of game”, but still, double-digits in scoring and rebounding and we won.  He said there was a little kid who had come up to him and asked him for his autograph.  Dale felt uncomfortable, but gave it to him and then the kid said, “I want to be just like you when I grow up!”  Dale was taken aback by that.  He said, “I didn’t know kids watched me that closely.”  He didn’t think he was a “good enough role model for them.”  Pretty deep for a senior in high school.

I remember Charles Barkley stating that he “wasn’t a role model.”  Unfortunately, anytime we step out in front of someone, we risk accepting that title.  Teachers in front of their students.  Coaches in front of their players.  Parents in front of their children.  Whether we like it or not, whether we accept it or not, each of us has the potential to be a role model, and a hero, to someone.  Perhaps we need to be more closely aware of our actions, our words, and in some cases, our inactions and our lack of words.  We never know who is watching and we never know who might see us as a role model or a hero.

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference! 

Evening

The daylight on the western horizon turns from orange to red, and then from pink to gray, and finally to indigo.  The day’s events might poke and prod me as I try to relax.  The laughter from the dinner table, the stories shared while we’re eating causes me to smile.  I relax with a book, a favorite TV show or movie.  I might help with homework or take part in quiet conversation with my family. 

Eventually, I unwind, turn off and shut down in order to charge back up to begin again, begin anew.

Most every evening, I look back on what took place during the day.  Conversations I had, things I did.  Sometimes, I think about the conversations I should have and could have had, along with the things I should have and could have done.  I know there were missed opportunities along the way.  I’m never really satisfied being the perfectionist that I am.  Meditation and self-reflection can be hell on those of us who are perfectionists, even though we realize we are human.

To me, evening reflection is important.  It marks a place in life’s journey where I can look back, see where I’ve been, and try to avoid the ruts, the roots and the rocks that I had tripped over on my way.  Without looking back, we forget just where we’ve been, how far we’ve come and what we overcame to get where we are now.  Without looking back, we are doomed to rewind and repeat.  That isn’t necessarily productive or positive or healthy.  Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

Morning

Morning is my favorite time of day.  I like the peace, the solitude, the quiet.  There is no noise except a car passing on the street, the furnace turning on or off.  I observe the Indigo of night give way to the gray of morning and then later, to the pale pastel of blue and pink.  My wife is typically out running her six miles or swimming her forty-five minutes.  My daughter is still sleeping. 

Most times, I lie in bed and think, meditate.  I might read.  I might think about the book I’m writing, the characters within and what they’ll be doing the next time I turn on my computer.  Sometimes I step over to one of the windows in our bedroom and look out at the woods behind our house.  If I’m lucky, I see a deer grazing on the tall grass.  At other times, I see the rabbit that made our yard a home.  This morning, snowflakes floated in the air, landing peacefully and softly on our deck and lawn.  Not heavy or thick or wet, but light and fluffy.  The snow stopped as suddenly as it had started, gray clouds giving away to blue sky and sunshine.

Aren’t mornings an opportunity for a fresh start and a new beginning?  Aren’t mornings the opportunity for the ultimate do-over?

You get to look back on what you did yesterday and improve upon it.  You get to undo the things you did, the things you said.  You get to fix the things you didn’t do or say but should have, and correct them.  A new day brings about a new beginning, a new hope.  You’re not locked into yesterdays or where you’ve been before, or the things you said or did the previous day.  A morning gives us a chance to course-correct, to get back on the right path.  And the really wonderful thing about mornings is that they keep coming.  There seems to be an endless supply of mornings, years of them actually.

Perhaps we need to take advantage of this gift: to change, to course-correct, to do over and make anew.  To rectify.  It’s your choice, really.  A choice you get to make each and every morning.

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

Commission vs. Omission

I think we understand a sin of commission: robbery and theft; willful destruction; rape and abuse; intentional injury and murder.  While we might not necessarily understand the thought process that takes place with those acts, we can all agree that sins of commission are wrong.  Sins of commission are intended to hurt, harm and damage physically.   Sins of commission can have long-lasting effects emotionally and psychologically.  Sins of commission are destructive to the human spirit, our core being.

I am, however, puzzled that we don’t take as much offense at sins of omission.  Bystanders watch a person get beaten by a gang and no one comes to his aid.  Someone steals a cellphone or iPod and it is seen by someone who does nothing to prevent it or report it.  Like Sgt. Schultz on the old television show Hogan’s Heroes says, “I know nothing.  I see nothing.  I hear nothing.” These two examples pale in comparison to murder and rape, but aren’t they in the end, as destructive?  Wasn’t it sins of omission that kept Hitler in power?

Where is our sense of duty as human beings to care for and about others?  Where has that gone? Are we that busy with our lives that we stopped caring?  Have we become that numb to each others' needs? 

I think about two very dear, close friends that I’ve lost touch with.  At some point, I moved away, got busy with my life and didn’t write a letter (the days when snail mail was the norm) or make a phone call to keep in touch.  As a result, the friendship died a slow death.  I’ve reached out to both, but they’ve also moved on and perhaps the friendship meant more to me than to them.  I can live with that, but it hurts.  Or perhaps, they’re just too busy.  In any case, I take the blame because it was my act of omission that caused these friendships to die.

I think we need to look at what we don’t say and what we don’t do.  Perhaps our inactions, our lack of support, our lack of words and our lack of help causes others, as well as ourselves, to suffer.  Perhaps our acts of omission causes more harm than we think- not only to ourselves, but to others. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!