I read a powerful book, When I Was Seven … by Mary Ellen Bramwell recently. Even though I finished it earlier this month, I cannot stop thinking about it. The thought of it isn’t constant, but it is there in quiet moments, in alone moments.
It is a story about a seven-year-old and his love for his grandmother. She is dying, and he understands this, but it is difficult for him. She asks him to help find her sister before she dies. His parents don’t believe him and think she is delusional because of the meds she is on. But Lucas won’t be dissuaded. He seeks the help of his other grandmother, who has been an outcast by his parents. Together, they not only seek to find the dying grandmother’s sister but also form a bond of love and friendship.
Throughout the book, a brilliant work of fiction, there are flashbacks and lessons learned, and relationships built. It led me to consider, how will my two grandchildren (so far) remember me? What kind of impact or influence will I have on them?
I am a
fairly new grandparent, only three years into the becoming. Mason just turned
three two weekends ago, and his little sister, Olivia, is only seven months. My
wife and I raised three of our own children, and I know I have a great deal to
learn, or relearn, about babies and young ones. But I embrace it! With retirement,
I can spend time with them, both as a babysitter and as a visiting grandpa, or
Papa, as Mason calls me.
The same questions can apply to my two daughters, Hannah and Emily. How will they remember me as Dad?
I can say, honestly and sincerely, that I know I’ve done the best I could for them. Have I fallen short at times? Absolutely. Did I spend enough time with them? Probably not, though I tried. I believe my heart has always been in the right place for them. I tried to guide my decisions with them in mind. And I’m painfully aware that because of my being human, I know I still fell short, and will continue to fall short even unto death. Not only is being a bit of a perfectionist working against me, but so is the time I might have left.
Hannah is thirty-two, and Emily is twenty-eight. During that time, I believe they have built up a store of memories for them to pick from. Some to hold close to their heart, while others to keep at arm’s length away from them. Hopefully, more of the former than the latter.
But for Mason, who is a tender three-year-old, and for Liv, only seven-months-old (eight months next Friday), their memories aren’t fully developed yet. At their ages, they don’t have the capacity yet to remember a great deal about me, what they’ve done with me, or how I have treated them.
My goal for the rest of my remaining days is to give them, and my two daughters and their husbands, as much love as I can give. To be there for each of them, both in times of need and in times of want. To be the very best Dad and Papa that I can be, knowing that in both cases, I might fall short here and there, just as I have done in the past. But I can hope, and I know I will pray to be all I can be for each of them. That is as best I can do. Something to think about …
Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!
To My Readers
If you are in the Fredericksburg, Virginia area on the 4th of July, I am taking part in the Fredericksburg Craft Festival, taking place in Fredericksburg at or near Riverfront Park. I will be in booth 209 on Sophia Street between Hanover Street and Charlotte Street from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM. I will have all ten of my books for sale and signing. I hope you stop down and say hello.
If you
are interested in any of my books, you can find them at www.jrlewisauthor.com My publisher,
Black Rose Writing, now has all of my books translated into French, German, and
Spanish, and all are available in Audible, Kindle, and Paperback formats.
I am proud of the fact that I’ve won
approximately 20 awards: Maxy Awards, PenCraft Awards, BestThriller Awards,
among others.
I’m currently working on my eleventh
book, The Disappeared, and I hope to have it completed and edited
this summer, and then published (on a date/time to be determined).
