I Didn't Do Much

I received some nice comments after my last several posts, but one in particular hit me smack dab in my heart. The comment first talked about what a nice post Magic Feather, 2 was, and then he shifted to a question. He wanted to know if I had experienced success with kids. It was vague, so I'm not sure if the responder was interested in my success with kids in general or if, as a principal, I inspired success in my staff. Probably both.

I can cite several examples, but a couple come to mind right away. 

There is Kristen, a veteran math teacher at my last high school, where I was principal. During the last two or so years I was there, Kristen asked for the kids who had the most trouble understanding and passing math. The kids in her classroom seldom or never passed the statewide math test at the end of the year, but in the years she had them, each of her kids did. She coaxed, guided, mentored, but mostly listened to the kids. And they succeeded. I dare say I had little if any effect on her or her students. It was all Kristen.

Amy was a social studies teacher, who is now a teacher coach in a different district as she works her way into administration. Like Kristen, she had students who not only "didn't get" social studies, but were some of the most difficult kids to work with. And by that I mean, not just academically but behaviorally. Kids thrived under her teaching and mentoring. Like Kristen, she listened. Like Kristen, she had high expectations for her kids, and they reached or surpassed them. I can't remember a time when there was a call from Amy to come to her classroom because a student was "out of control." Amy handled each situation and each student, and her students more than responded. They thrived. Again, I believe I had little to do with Amy's success with her students. It was her.

These are two of my favorite examples, and there are many more. Many more.

As for students, three kids come to mind.

Ethan was a freshman when I first met him. I noticed him because he was a soccer player, a sport I came to love because of my three children. Before school, one of my duties was to monitor the cafeteria where the kids would congregate before the first bell. As he walked into the cafeteria, I would ask him about his travel soccer team, and when in season, the school soccer team. Just getting to know him sorts of things. I believe at some point, I asked him what he wanted to do after high school, and he admitted he did not know. Like many young high school kids. As time went on, I'm not sure how it came up, but I mentioned that because of my age, I was looking to retire. I must have struck a nerve, because his expression was sadness. He said, "I don't want you to retire." I told him it wasn't going to happen for quite a while, but he shook his head and said, "No, I don't want you to retire." I guess it's safe to say he and I connected on a level I didn't expect. I finally said I would wait until he graduated and then he and I would walk out the door together. With what seemed like reluctance, he accepted that. As it was, I ended up retiring at the end of his junior year, but he and I still remain in touch.

Of the many kids, there are two I remember from my counseling days. Both were students on my caseload at an impoverished barrio school in California. And I'm not sure if I left a mark on them or if they left a mark on me. Probably both.

Gabino was a senior I inherited from a different counselor after the principal decided to move to grade level counseling. He asked me if I would be the senior counselor. That was a tough and difficult assignment, but I respected the principal so much, I said I would. At the beginning of the year, I needed to do credit checks on seniors and make sure they would graduate. I would send a call slip to the students, and they would dutifully stop in my office for a conference. I sent two call slips on two different days for Gabino, but he never darkened my door, despite the fact he was present and accounted for in each of his classes. 

Hmmm ...

I sent security to escort him to my office for our conference. At first, I raised my voice, admonishing him for not coming to the conference when called for. I told him I wanted to help him, and it was disrespectful, if not belligerent to not come when called. I remember him standing up, doing a 360, and then sitting back down, arms folded on his chest, legs spread with a look of what I would call pure hatred. He never apologized, and I didn't ask him to. I explained he was in danger of not graduating, something he had already known. But I told him I would try to find a program for him to make up the credits needed. 

I found a program for him, so I sent for him the next day, and he came in, knocked on my door, and said, "You wanted to see me?" I smiled and acted as if the previous day had never taken place. The program was an internship at the hospital where not only could he make up the credits needed, but it would lead to a job if he wanted it. What kid doesn't like money, right? He accepted the offer, and then he and I rearranged his schedule to accommodate the position. About two weeks later, I sent for him again, and he came in smiling. I asked how things were going, and he went on and on about the position and said his supervisor had already spoken to him about a job. 

Over the course of the year, he and I would spot each other on campus, and either he would wave or give me a head-nod if other kids were present, but he would seek me out to talk about is job, his classes, and his family. I knew he was in a gang, and he decided- on his own- to get out of it. I visited him in the hospital after he got "beaten out" of it. He was pretty messed up, but he was happy with his decision.

Graduation came at the end of May. When his name was called, he proudly walked across the stage, beaming, and received his diploma. He walked down the stage steps, found me at the bottom of the stairs and embraced me and wept. It was one of the longest hugs I had ever received, and I have to admit, I wept, too. Gabino was the first male in his family in four generations to graduate from high school. As time went on, and after Kim and I and our family moved back to Wisconsin, he and I lost track of each other. But I think of him often and fondly. I refuse to take much of the credit for his success. It was his guts and determination. All I did was open a door or two. Mostly, I took an interest in him and listened. 

At the same school and in the same class was Khalid. The difference was that Khalid had been on my caseload since the summer of his freshman year. He registered for school when his father brought him and his cousin. We selected classes together, and at that time, Khalid wanted to be a journalist. He was about my height and on the skinny side. 

Khalid's story was tragic from the beginning. He came home a month previous to when I met him from playing a pickup basketball game on a playground to find his grandmother in the kitchen dead from a heart attack. She had been raising him. He moved in with his father and stepmother in a small apartment and several cousins and stepbrothers and stepsisters. He never told me until many years after that, that he had spent all of high school sleeping on the floor with a blanket to cover him. Neither his father nor his stepmother wanted him. His cousin and his stepbrothers and stepsisters didn't like him. It was worse when his father went to jail and he had only his stepmother to deal with. 

Over those four years, Khalid grew. He excelled in wrestling, football and track. One day, Khalid asked if I would come to his wrestling match, so Kim and I packed up our son, Wil, and our daughter, Hannah, and cheered for him. We went out for pizza after, and we watched Khalid and Wil play arcade games before we took him home.

As we drove to his apartment complex, Khalid asked me to pull over and let him walk the rest of the way. It was a chilly night (by California standards) and it was getting late on a school night, so I told him we'd take him all the way to his apartment. He leaned forward from the backseat and said, "Mr. Lewis, you don't want to take your family there." I looked at Kim, and she looked at me, and we drove him all the way home. Before he got out of the car, he said we needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. I found out the next day that the street he lived on was called "Machine Gun Alley" by locals and law enforcement because of the gunfire that often erupted at night. 

Khalid went to college on a football scholarship and became a counselor. He got married and has two beautiful children, one boy and one girl. He is now a high school principal. Again, I take no credit for Khalid's success, and like Gabino, it was his guts and determination that got him to where he is today.'

I think any success I had with kids came from listening to them. Mostly, I guess, listening to what isn't being said. I think the same can be said about successful parenting. I believe educators at all levels are mentors who guide kids along the way. There are missteps, to be sure, but I believe kids recognize effort and heart better than adults. It's effort and heart that cause success, along with kindness and compassion. If only we had more of that in the world. Something to think about ...

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

For My Readers:   

Black Yéʼii is now available on Audible, and has quickly become a bestseller in that format. It received a 2025 Maxy Finalist Award for Thriller and Suspense and previously won a Literary Titan Gold Book Award. It is also available in Paperback and on Kindle.  

You can find Black Yéʼii here:

Amazon Link: https://tinyurl.com/25w95xcn

Barnes & Noble Link: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/black-y-700-ii-joseph-lewis/1146257565?ean=9781685135379 

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If you want more of the backstory to Black Yéʼii (The Evil One) check out my previous book, Caught in a Web, which is available in paperback, Kindle, and Audible. BestThrillers called it “One of the best Crime Fiction Books of 2018!” It was also a PenCraft Literary Award Winner!

You can find it here:

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Fan Mail won a 2023 Maxy Finalist for Action and Adventure. It previously won a 2023 Reader’s Favorite Silver Book Award. It is available in Audible format, as well as Paperback and Kindle.

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Audible Link: https://audiobooksunleashed.com/product/fan-mail/ 

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Of course, you can find all my books, their descriptions, and a pay link on my author website at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com 

If you like what you’re reading and find a benefit from it, you can check out my other posts on my Website at https://www.jrlewisauthor.com under the Inspirational Blog tab. You can find all ten books, their descriptions, and links for purchase at the same site.  

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