I sort of always knew, at least intuitively, that touch is important. In some ways, touch is as important in communication as words and gestures are. At times, so much is conveyed with a touch that words become superfluous.
I remember back
in undergrad in one of my psychology classes talking baby monkeys. In one experiment, they were separated from
their mothers and placed in cages with only a terrycloth puppet monkey to cling
to. Obviously cruel even though we did
learn much from that study. There were developmental
setbacks in comparison to other baby monkeys who had a mother and siblings with
which to grow.
There was a study
about an orphanage in a foreign country whose children were not thriving, even
dying, because of a lack of contact with other human beings. Finally a doctor instructed nurses and aides
to hold the children for periods of time throughout the day and night. Kids began to thrive.
The Power Of
Touch.
My wife teaches
middle school and she’ll come home and complain that “the kids just can’t keep
their hands away from each other. They’re
always touching, grabbing, or poking someone!”
Little kids come
by it naturally and honestly. Visit a
Kindergarten class at story time. Kids
sit so close to one another and to the teacher that they’re almost on top of
one another. Middle school kids can’t
just hold hands or sling an arm around another’s shoulders innocently without
provoking thoughts of sexual innuendo.
So, they poke. They grab. They touch.
Safer that way. No one can ‘accuse’
them of inappropriate contact. Of
something sexual.
Sad. Really sad.
It perpetuates
what I call “Skin Hunger”.
We are made to
touch, to hold, to caress. There are
those among us who don’t have this opportunity.
No one touches them. No one holds
them. No one caresses them.
“Skin Hunger”.
My kids tell me
from time to time to keep my hands to myself.
I’m a toucher. A holder. My kids will never wonder about that existential
question: “Do I Exist?” because I touch them often. I hug them and I kiss them for the heck of
it. Whether they need it or want it or
not. Maybe mostly because I need it. But I also know it’s good for them, too. And good for me.
When they were
babies, I’d hold them. A lot. With Hannah, I took the late, middle of the
night feeding because it was just Hannah and me in the rocking chair. With Emily, she’d seek me out, crawl up on my
lap and fall asleep. I was her teddy bear.
I have to admit,
I miss those times. Miss them a lot.
I grew up in a
family of touchers, huggers and kissers. It’s in my DNA. It’s the way I’m wired. I didn’t grow up in a cage with a terrycloth
puppet to cling to. I didn’t have to
worry about growing up without anyone touching me, hugging me or kissing me.
The Power Of
Touch.
Kids, big and
small, young or old need to touch and be touched. Obviously, there are appropriate ways and
appropriate times. I get that. But it doesn’t lessen the need or the impact
of what a simple touch can convey. It
communicates so much. The love we have
for one another. The importance we place
on one another. So, I give you
permission to give The Power Of Touch to others. Tell them, “Lewis said so!” They might not understand, but they’ll like
it nonetheless. And you will too. Something to think about . . .
Live Your Life,
and Make A Difference!
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Thank you for your comment. I welcome your thought. Joe