Friday, March 6, 2020

The Budding





I like spring. It is a beginning, a start an awakening. It signals an end to the cold (mostly, not quite totally) and some of the dreariness that winter is sometimes known for. I get tired of being cold. It seeps into my body more so than it did when I was younger. I also find that the gray and the cold seeps into my heart and soul a bit. 

We have our roller coaster of temps from day to day, but even the dips don’t seem as low as they have been. Yesterday, I noticed the flowering of trees on our street. I saw and heard a few more birds sitting on our back deck rails singing whatever song pops into their head. I think birds sing because they can, and that’s not so bad, is it? 

Spring announces an awakening. What was once asleep and thought to be dead and gone, rises and grows. Witness the ghostly trees of winter budding and flowering. I see bags of mulch in my neighbors’ driveways and a few hearty souls on knees in their flower beds. I know the time will come when Kim drops hints about how we need to spend our upcoming weekends.  

We plant seeds in each other, especially kids, don’t we?  

Sometimes, we see the budding and the sprouting quickly. Sometimes, we wonder if anything will take root and grow. And at times, sometimes nothing grows despite all we try, all we do. 

My brother, Jim, is four years older than me. I admire him for all he’s done, for all he’s been through. You see, Jim didn’t take to high school and I don’t think high school took to Jim. Part of it was because he followed Jack, who was the first boy in the family after five girls, and part of it was because he followed Kathy, who was the last girl of six. Tough shoes to fill. 

Jim tried college and he didn’t take to that either. Then he tried a tech school and he didn’t take to that. I think as a last option, Jim enlisted in the Air Force. He served a hitch in Vietnam on a flight crew, but because he was a mechanic, he had to fly with troops into hot spots to make sure the aircraft got in and out safely. 

He served his hitch and enrolled in college. It took. He graduated with honors with a double major in art and architecture. Who would have thought? 

Jim is proof that kids get it, that people in general get it. Not necessarily on our time, but in their time.  

Did you know that the seed of the bamboo plant doesn’t bud for five years after planting? Five years! 

We plant seeds in our kids and in each other each day with the words we choose, our acts of kindness. We also plant seeds in our kids and in each other with a lack of thought, with meanness, with a lack of care and concern, with a dismissive attitude. And, those kids grow, too.
We are witnesses to that budding in kids and in others.  

Those buds, those flowers aren’t as pretty or as pleasant as the buds and flowers planted with care, with love, with compassion, kindness and tenderness. Yet, just as we reap the fruits of what we sow and plant with love, we reap the fruits of what we sow and plant with indifference, with a lack of patience, with a lack of . . . 

We can do better, you and me. We need to do better. 

Last week, I wrote about the Choice of Words. Sometimes, with those words or lack of words we give off an air of negativity, of indifference. Sometimes we convey that someone is less than. If I’ve done that to you this year, this month, this week, I am sorry. I don’t want to plant any seed that produces the flower that results from that. If I used a careless word or no word at all, I am sorry. Again, I don't want to plant any seed that produces the flower that results from that. 

So today, I will once again correct my own behavior. Fridays and the end of the week are good for that. It’s a day we can examine what we did or didn’t do, perhaps what we should have done. And, if I have to keep working to correct my own behavior, I’m willing to do that.  

I ask you, too, to reflect on where you are with your words, your actions, the seeds you have been and are planting. Will they result in the buds and flowers you want to see and enjoy? Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:
My new book, Betrayed, will debut Nov. 12, 2020! It is a contemporary psychological thriller using some of the same characters from my previous work. It takes place on the Navajo Nation Reservation in northeast Arizona. I will post parts and passages on my author page on Facebook.

Connect with me on Social Media:
Twitter at @jrlewisauthor


Spiral Into Darkness:
Named a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!
He blends in. He is successful, intelligent and methodical. He has a list and has murdered eight on it so far. There is no discernible pattern. There are no clues. There are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, have no idea they are the next targets. Neither does their family. And neither does local law enforcement. https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm

Caught in a Web:
A PenCraft Literary Award Winner!
The bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of heroin and fentanyl. The drug trade along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the Milwaukee Metro area is controlled by MS-13, a violent gang originating from El Salvador. Ricardo Fuentes is sent from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had killed his cousin the previous summer.

Detectives Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else, especially George or members of his family. The three detectives discover the ring has its roots in a high school among the students and staff. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696

Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:
Two thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved. http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis
                         
Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
Six men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them. http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis
                         
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
A 14-year-old boy knows the end is coming. What he doesn’t know is when, where or by whom. Without that knowledge, neither he nor the FBI can protect him or his family.
http://tinyurl.com/Splintered-Lives-J-Lewis                                    

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and 11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way out. http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis

Photo courtesy of Ryan Yao and Unsplash

Saturday, February 29, 2020

Choice of Words


When I write, whether it is for my blog or one of my books, I choose my words carefully. I have to believe all writers do. We care because we are putting our sweat, our feelings including laughter or tears onto each page. It can flow with ease or sometimes ride bumpy as we hit pothole after pothole.

For example, in Betrayed which comes out in November (I do wish it was sooner), there were several passages that I rewrote and rewrote. I slaved over them because I know I have one shot at hitting the sweet spot with the reader. I have to feel it. And I did. I can tell you that I wept at three spots in the book. I believe the reader will too. There were times when I felt my muscles clench because of several intense spots in the book. As the author, I felt tense, anxious each time I read and edited the book, and I became tense and anxious even though I knew what was going to happen.

There is an axiom among writers I fully believe in: No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. Meaning that we put our heart and soul onto each page, choosing the words specifically to elicit a specific response in the reader.

The magical part of any book is that no one book will read the same for each reader. How can it? Each reader brings his or her own feelings, experiences, past, present and future to the book when he or she sits down to read it. As the author, I cannot possibly guess how my books or this blog will “hit” you, because in so many cases, I don’t know you.

As any parent would, I suppose you will feel anxious and upset when my adolescent characters face danger. You might be angry towards those who would place them in danger. Normal reactions, I would think. Unless, of course, I failed to choose my words carefully that might elicit those feelings.

Which makes me consider . . .

As a person, be it in my profession or as a dad or husband, as a mentor or role model, do I take the same care with the words I choose to speak? Sadly, sometimes I think not. At times, I speak without thinking. At times, I speak without “feeling.” Sad, really. I slave over my writing, picking and choosing my words so carefully, when I sometimes don’t when speaking.

At times, I’ve been sarcastic and thoughtless. My words sting. I do myself an injustice because I truly, deeply care. I believe that in so many cases, words have an impact that sticks and stones do not.

In Betrayed, one of my adult characters tells one of the boys, “Sometimes it’s the hurt you don’t see that you feel the most.” The boy knew just what the adult was saying. The boy’s heart and soul had been ‘betrayed’ time and again. He was bruised in places you cannot see with the eye, only with the heart.

As we face a new week, I wonder if I . . . we . . . can choose our words a bit more carefully. I wonder if our words might bring peace and love, joy and a sense of caring to those with whom we speak to. We owe that to those we speak to, to those who we interact with. Mostly, I think, we owe it to ourselves, don’t we? Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:
My new book, Betrayed, will debut Nov. 12, 2020! It is a contemporary psychological thriller using some of the same characters from my previous work. It takes place on the Navajo Nation Reservation in northeast Arizona. I will post parts and passages on my author page on Facebook.

Connect with me on Social Media:
Twitter at @jrlewisauthor


Spiral Into Darkness:
Named a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!
He blends in. He is successful, intelligent and methodical. He has a list and has murdered eight on it so far. There is no discernible pattern. There are no clues. There are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, have no idea they are the next targets. Neither does their family. And neither does local law enforcement. https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm

Caught in a Web:
A PenCraft Literary Award Winner!
The bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of heroin and fentanyl. The drug trade along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the Milwaukee Metro area is controlled by MS-13, a violent gang originating from El Salvador. Ricardo Fuentes is sent from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had killed his cousin the previous summer.

Detectives Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else, especially George or members of his family. The three detectives discover the ring has its roots in a high school among the students and staff. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696

Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:
Two thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved. http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis
                          
Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
Six men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them. http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis
                          
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
A 14-year-old boy knows the end is coming. What he doesn’t know is when, where or by whom. Without that knowledge, neither he nor the FBI can protect him or his family.
http://tinyurl.com/Splintered-Lives-J-Lewis                                   

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and 11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way out. http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis

Photo courtesy of Kyle Glenn and Unsplash 

Sunday, February 23, 2020

Winners and Losers


This past Friday, I had to supervise a basketball game. It was the fourth time this season the two teams played against each other. One team had a solid upper-classman roster, while the other had a nice mix of young and veteran players. Two of the previous three contests were within two or three points at the final buzzer.

This fourth game could have gone either way. The first two quarters were dominated by one team, but the other hung in there. The final two quarters were nip and tuck and I recall telling a colleague that whoever has the ball at the end of the game would win. I pretty much called it, because that’s how it ended.

The two teams shook hands at the end of the game. The kids had played against each other for several years and knew one another. One team experienced joy and elation. The other tears and sadness. For the seniors who lost the game, it would possibly mark the final time they might wear a basketball jersey. For the seniors who won the game, they march on to the next game knowing that it only gets tougher as they go.

Winners and Losers

The way the kids handled themselves, and the way the coaches handled the teams, it’s difficult to determine who the winners or losers were, even though the final score on the board indicated such. There was dignity. There was respect. There was a marked determination. Some players, not the “stars” stood out and up to the challenge. Each gave everything they had and then some.

Such is the game. Such is life, I suppose.

There will always be a better team, a newer car, a better show to watch or a book to read. There will always be someone smarter, prettier, wealthier. That is the way of it. That is life.

It isn’t that life is fair or unfair. Life just . . . is. We do our best. Each day. Each minute and hour of the day. That’s all we can do. That’s all we should do.

All of us, each of us, will be winners one time, maybe more. And all of us, each of us, will lose one time, maybe more.

Henry Ford is known to have said something like, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”

Yet, I don’t believe the team that lost failed. They just happened to be bettered this time around. After all, how can one fail if one gives everything he or she had, worked as hard as possible, and utilized every available opportunity afforded to them? That isn’t failure.

Losses and failures end up being lessons if you look at them through the correct lens. Anything in life poses a question, a lesson to be learned. Sometimes the work of the lesson is painful. Sometimes the work of the lesson is a joy because passion is involved.

I wrote a post on Rejection (11-15-19) and I mentioned how many times Stephen King “failed” before his first book ‘Carrie’ became a huge success. I wrote that I had been rejected so many times the notices could wallpaper a room in my house.

You see, if the team that lost just quits, they hadn’t learned their lesson. If Stephen King quit writing after his rejections, we would never have experienced ‘The Stand’. If I had quit after my many rejections, my seventh book, ‘Betrayed’ wouldn’t be published this coming November.

In life, there are no real losers, just as there aren’t any real winners. Or . . .

Perhaps the winner is the one who keeps moving forward despite the critics, despite the odds. Perhaps the winner is the one who learns from the missteps of others as well as one’s own. Perhaps the winner is the one who picks himself up, dusts him or her self off and says, “Okay, one more time.” To me, that is who the real winner is. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:
My new book, Betrayed, will debut Nov. 12, 2020! It is a contemporary psychological thriller using some of the same characters from my previous work. It takes place on the Navajo Nation Reservation in northeast Arizona.

Connect with me on Social Media:
Twitter at @jrlewisauthor


Spiral Into Darkness:
Named a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!
He blends in. He is successful, intelligent and methodical. He has a list and has murdered eight on it so far. There is no discernible pattern. There are no clues. There are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, have no idea they are the next targets. Neither does their family. And neither does local law enforcement. https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm

Caught in a Web:
A PenCraft Literary Award Winner!
The bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of heroin and fentanyl. The drug trade along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the Milwaukee Metro area is controlled by MS-13, a violent gang originating from El Salvador. Ricardo Fuentes is sent from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had killed his cousin the previous summer.

Detectives Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else, especially George or members of his family. The three detectives discover the ring has its roots in a high school among the students and staff. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696

Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:
Two thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved. http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis
                           
Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
Six men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them. http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis
                           
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
A 14-year-old boy knows the end is coming. What he doesn’t know is when, where or by whom. Without that knowledge, neither he nor the FBI can protect him or his family.
http://tinyurl.com/Splintered-Lives-J-Lewis                                  

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and 11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way out. http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis

Photo courtesy of Marcus Spiske and Unsplash

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Stars



My first teaching and coaching stint occurred in Wyoming. Goshen Hole High School, at that time, was the second smallest school in the state. 72 kids in the high school, 110 kids in grades seven through twelve. I taught social studies and was the head coach of the boys’ basketball team. Great kids, great experience. Happy I did it. Wondering sometimes how I did it.

The town I lived in was Yoder, population 101. Yes, seriously. A gas station, a post office, and a water tower. A party line I shared with three other homes. Miles and miles of, well, nothing. There was an old song by the Who, the lyrics were, “I can see for miles and miles . . .” They didn’t lie.

Growing up in the city for most of my life, I hadn’t noticed how bright stars were until I moved to Wyoming. City lights dimmed them. They weren’t as bright. In Wyoming, especially where I lived, there wasn’t a “city” and there certainly were no lights to compete with the utter blackness of the night sky.

Stars, like a sprinkling of diamonds on a black velvet drape, shown bright and clear. The sheer expanse was breathtaking. Like in a child’s fairy tale, they twinkled, sparkled, and honestly, even now twenty-four years after calling Wyoming home for three years, I can still picture it.

Darkness. Blackness. Stars.

Another thought . . .

We just had three or four days of rain. Gray. Clouds. Dark. Dreary. Think of your own synonym, your own picture. I, probably like most everyone else, felt the weight of it. Tired. Rather depressing.

This morning, nothing but bright blue sky. The sun seemed to be brighter than normal.

Happens all the time, doesn’t it?

First of all, stars against the expanse of darkness. The sun after the grayness, the darkness of rain.

Each of us experience the dark times of life. We travel through periods where darkness seems overwhelming. We feel the weight of it. Tiredness, sometimes depression sets in. We feel lonely, if not alone.

Yet, even in darkness, stars shine brightly. They seem cleaner, and somehow, clearer. Even after the darkness of a cloudy day, the sun comes out brighter than ever. Clearer than ever.

And the thing about the sun and stars . . . they are always present. They are always there. They never go away. And, they aren’t going anywhere. There are times we can’t see them clearly, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there.

At times, even in our darkest, bleakest days or nights, there are those we can lean on, those we can depend on, those we can count on. We might not see them readily. We might not feel their presence. Yet, like the sun and stars, they are there. They can be our own stars, our own sun.

I’m wondering . . . actually hoping and praying . . . that there can be more of us willing to be the star or sun in someone’s life. I’m wondering if, when noticing someone traveling through a dark night, a rainy day of life or of soul, someone . . . you or me, perhaps . . . can be that someone, that sun, that star. Willing to give it a try? I hope so. I pray so. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Live, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:
My new book, Betrayed, will debut Nov. 12, 2020! It is a contemporary psychological thriller using some of the same characters from my previous work. It takes place on the Navajo Nation Reservation in northeast Arizona.

Connect with me on Social Media:
Twitter at @jrlewisauthor


Spiral Into Darkness:
Named a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!
He blends in. He is successful, intelligent and methodical. He has a list and has murdered eight on it so far. There is no discernible pattern. There are no clues. There are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, have no idea they are the next targets. Neither does their family. And neither does local law enforcement. https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm

Caught in a Web:
A PenCraft Literary Award Winner!
The bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of heroin and fentanyl. The drug trade along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the Milwaukee Metro area is controlled by MS-13, a violent gang originating from El Salvador. Ricardo Fuentes is sent from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had killed his cousin the previous summer.

Detectives Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else, especially George or members of his family. The three detectives discover the ring has its roots in a high school among the students and staff. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696

Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:
Two thirteen year old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved. http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis
                            
Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
Six men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them. http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis
                            
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
A 14 year old boy knows the end is coming. What he doesn’t know is when, where or by whom. Without that knowledge, neither he nor the FBI can protect him or his family.
http://tinyurl.com/Splintered-Lives-J-Lewis                                 

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11 year old Brett McGovern, and 11 year old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way out. http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis

Photo courtesy of Sam Goodgame and Unsplash