The End of the Road

My heart sort of fell apart a little yesterday. It was Emily’s twentieth birthday. A happy day normally. End of the teen years and stepping into adulthood. But it was also the day Kim and I moved her out of her dorm room and into an apartment with two of her teammates as roommates. She has two jobs she’ll be working this summer. And, she’ll be living in Greensboro, not at home with us. Not.

It is sad for me. Real sad.

Of course at the start of the day, Em was excited. It was her apartment. Her own keys and her own address. Her own mailbox. Her own room. New pots and pans and mixing bowls. New lamps and a new bedspread. Everything new.

At the end of the day and after the great, grand move in, there was a birthday dinner celebrated with her boyfriend, her two roommates and their families. Lots of laughter and smiles.

And then as we got ready to leave and as we stood outside by the car that would take Kim and me away, I think reality set in for all of us. There were hugs and tears. And that was when I felt big chunks of my heart fall away. I think Kim and Em felt the same thing. It was the reality that she is there and we are here and our lives- Em’s, Kim’s, Hannah’s and mine- will be different.

I’m a little bit older today . . . not so much physically, although I am that too. But emotionally. I’m not ready for it. Maybe someday, down the road. But I’m not ready for it today. Just not.

And as I think about it, this time of year is sort of the journey down the End of the Road for many of us and in various ways.

It’s the start of the end of the year. It’s the start of the end of routine- for teachers, for parents, and even for the kids.

Some will retire. Some are moving on to different jobs and different positions. Kids are graduating. Other kids are moving one grade closer to graduating. And still other kids will be making the move to high school. Others to middle school. Others will enter kindergarten.

I get it. Life keeps moving. I get it. Life moves forward and doesn’t stop just because we want it to . . . maybe need it to. I get it. But I don’t have to like it.

There is an analogy. Stick your hand in a moving stream or river and the water continues to move around it. Your hand doesn’t stop the water from moving. Not at all. All your hand does is get wet.

And, no matter how I feel . . . how we feel . . . life keeps moving forward. It marches to its own beat, its own rhythm. It is independent and separate, yet it involves us whether we want to be involved or not.  

So, this is the time of year when I most feel I’m on the journey towards the End of the Road. Knowing of course, that there will be a new road, a different road. Knowing that there will be a different journey. And like the last journey, some of it will be fun and joyful, just as some of it will be sad and maybe painful.

As much as I’d like to buck up and say, “All is good and it is the way it should be!” I can’t. I’m not ready to. As I said, I’m a little bit older today. I’m not ready for it. Maybe someday, down the road. But I’m not ready for it today. Just not. And I think that’s okay. For me. For you. For us. It’s okay. Something to think about . . .

Life Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

I have been really blessed with some wonderful reviews on my new novel, Caught in a Web. Best Thrillers wrote: “The Bottom Line: This important, nail-biting crime thriller about MS-13 sets the bar very high. One of the year’s best thrillers.” You can read the entire review (rather short, but impactful) at https://bestthrillers.com/caught-in-a-web-one-of-the-years-best-conspiracy-thrillers/   

Another review, from Diane Donovan, Senior Reviewer at The Midwest Book Review wrote: “As the investigators review relationships, affairs, and threats, they find themselves unraveling an ever-increasing web of deception as readers are carried into a thrilling underworld of gang violence and teen involvements which gradually lead to a resolution where characters may fudge on honesty, but tie up loose ends.

Characters are many, but are well-drawn; the action offers just the right blend of tension and intrigue; and detective story enthusiasts will especially relish the level of emotional inquiry which makes the characters both human and believable.

The result is an involving detective piece that probes the worlds of teens and gang members with an equal attention to precise, staccato details that flow smoothly into a story that creates a satisfying conclusion to all conundrums.” You can read the entire review, again fairly short, at http://www.midwestbookreview.com/mbw/may_18.htm#donovan

Caught in a Web is available in both paperback and Kindle format on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Caught-Web-Joseph-Lewis/dp/1684330246/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524752314&sr=1-1&keywords=caught+in+a+web+joseph+lewis

For those of you in the Fredericksburg, Virginia area, I am doing the last of three Caught in a Web book sale and signing events. You can find me at:

Tomorrow, Saturday, May 12 Salem Church Library in Spotsylvania/Fredericksburg from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.

Connect with me on Social Media:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI /

Trailblazers

Though I mostly taught psychology during my teaching career, I was trained as a “broadfield” social studies teacher. What that means is that theoretically, I could and am qualified to teach anything and everything in social studies. Um . . . no way!

You wouldn’t want me teaching economics or any of the world histories. I could do a pretty good job in US History and any of the behavioral sciences like sociology, anthropology, geography and of course, psychology. I don’t think they even use the term “broadfield” any longer in teacher licensing or certification. In fact when I wrote that term, spell check caught it and wondered, ‘Did I lose my mind or something?’

In history, my strengths were the civil war, the old west, and westward expansion. Teaching it was fun, but learning about it even more fun. I think that’s why I chose Wyoming for my first teaching and coaching position. Moving there without knowing anyone or having lived there previously. It was kind of like the early explorers, but with a car and U-Haul.

Think for a moment about Lewis (no relation that I know of) and Clark exploring west of the known. Mountains, rivers big and small, braving the elements. Or think of Marquette and Joliet exploring the upper Midwest, which is where I came from originally. Using canoes as they paddled down rivers and when they ran out of river, they carried or ‘portaged’ from river to river. They, too, had to battle the elements: cold, ice, heat and humidity, bugs.

It was because of brave men and women like them we expanded from ocean to ocean, or “. . . from sea to shining sea” as the song goes. It was because of them that folks saddled up a horse, sailed on steamers and climbed aboard wagons and caravanned west to strike out (sometimes literally as well as figuratively) on their own to create a new life. Brave souls, they were. Intrepid spirits one and all.

But their path was made better because of those who went before them, those who showed them the way. Those who created the first path, the first trail. The explorers who cleared the way for all those who ventured after them.

And while there were many who moved west, there were those who declined any kind of move and instead, stayed in Boston or New York or wherever. They were happy, content and satisfied. They felt no need to move, no desire to uproot their comfortable (or not) lives and begin again.

Got me thinking . . .

Parents, adults, teachers and coaches and those in the helping and service professions do their own share, their own kind of Trailblazing, don’t they . . . don’t we?

We do our best to make the road a little safer for those who follow us: our own children, someone else’s children.

We caution. We teach. We counsel. We guide. Sometimes, like Marquette and Joliet when they didn’t have water, we pick up and carry- not canoes, but those, especially the kids, who can’t quite cut it on their own. Those who may be fearful, afraid, or nervous. Those who have doubts.

We do it because it is our job, what we ought to do. And many times, we do this without recognition, without extra pay, without the pat on the back or the thank you- sometimes not even from the one we helped.

More often than not, most of the time, we do it out of love. We do it because we care and are concerned. We do it out of compassion. We do it whether one notices it or not. We see a need and dig in. We put our arm around that kiddo, tell him or her it will be okay, that we’ll walk with them, be alongside of them, that we’ll catch them if and when- and we know they will- fall. Because that’s what Trailblazers do. Over and over again. Time and again. It’s what we do. Should do or have to do, or not. We do. Something to think about . . .

To My Readers:

I have been really blessed with some wonderful reviews on my new novel, Caught in a Web. Best Thrillers wrote: “The Bottom Line: This important, nail-biting crime thriller about MS-13 sets the bar very high. One of the year’s best thrillers.” You can read the entire review (rather short, but impactful) at https://bestthrillers.com/caught-in-a-web-one-of-the-years-best-conspiracy-thrillers/  

Another review, from Diane Donovan, Senior Reviewer at The Midwest Book Review wrote: “As the investigators review relationships, affairs, and threats, they find themselves unraveling an ever-increasing web of deception as readers are carried into a thrilling underworld of gang violence and teen involvements which gradually lead to a resolution where characters may fudge on honesty, but tie up loose ends.

Characters are many, but are well-drawn; the action offers just the right blend of tension and intrigue; and detective story enthusiasts will especially relish the level of emotional inquiry which makes the characters both human and believable.

The result is an involving detective piece that probes the worlds of teens and gang members with an equal attention to precise, staccato details that flow smoothly into a story that creates a satisfying conclusion to all conundrums.” You can read the entire review, again fairly short, at http://www.midwestbookreview.com/mbw/may_18.htm#donovan

Caught in a Web is available in both paperback and Kindle format on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Caught-Web-Joseph-Lewis/dp/1684330246/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524752314&sr=1-1&keywords=caught+in+a+web+joseph+lewis

For those of you in the Fredericksburg, Virginia area, I am doing two Caught in a Web book sale and signing events. You can find me at:

May 5 England Run Library in Stafford/Fredericksburg from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.

May 12 Salem Church Library in Spotsylvania/Fredericksburg from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.

Connect with me on Social Media:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI /

Tale of Two Songs

I know there is science that suggests smell is the most powerful of the senses. Others suggest touch, noting that humans need to touch and be touched. Virginia Satir writes, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” I don’t know if any human gets his or her daily quota. Ever. Maybe that’s why I’m shrinking. And I thought it was just because I’m getting older.

I remember teaching psychology many moons ago and my classes were fascinated by an experiment with baby monkeys. I found it to be unusually cruel and so did my classes. The experiment was to separate two groups of monkeys: one group of baby monkeys was allowed to remain in the care of momma monkey. The other group was put in a cage by itself with only a terry cloth monkey for comfort. Scientists discovered that the monkeys “raised” by the terry cloth monkey didn’t develop or bond. Duh!

I think Helen Keller might argue that sight is powerful. To witness the beauty, the color, the expression on faces associated with the words they speak. Yet she lived and functioned in a darkened world and became a noted spokesperson and advocate for the blind population. Others might argue that the sense of hearing is the most important. While my hearing is slowing going, with the benefit of hearing aids, I’m able to function pretty well.  

Speaking of the sense of hearing . . .

Isn’t it funny how, sometimes, you hear a melody or a lyric and are transported back in time to a specific place surrounded by specific people? To this day, I hear I Want To Hold Your Hand (the Beatles, in case you were wondering) and I’m back in sixth grade on the playground at Holy Angels Grade School arguing who was the best in the group. Or I hear Gimme Some Lovin (Spencer Davis Group featuring Steve Winwood on vocals and keyboards) and I’m in middle school front of the stage singing in our rock back.

I have music on while I’m driving and this morning on my way to school, it happened again. Two songs in a row.

The first song was I Loved Her First (Heartland, I think it might have been their only hit). I hear this song and it brings tears to my eyes. This is Hannah’s and my song. This is the song Hannah has chosen for the father-daughter dance at her wedding. The chorus is:

            But I loved her first and I held her first

And a place in my heart will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

I mean, dang! That’s me when I look at Hannah. That will be me at her wedding. And before the wedding, that’s going to be me when I help pack her up and move her to Pittsburgh. Can’t help it. She’s my Peanut. Always has been and always will be.

The second song is My Wish (Rascal Flatts). I sang this song for the 2012 commencement- Hannah’s grad class. I knew those kids so well. The problem was that Hannah introduced me to the kids and parents and I ended up with a lump in my throat the size of Mt. Rushmore. I don’t think I hit the right note until . . . well, maybe I never did.

The lyrics express, I think, what every dad or parent wants for their kids at any age, at any time.

            But more than anything, more than anything

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to

Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small

You never need to carry more than you can hold

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to

I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too

Yeah, this, is my wish.

See what I mean? It’s any parent’s wish for their children.

I would also argue that it’s any teacher’s . . . any good teacher’s . . . wish for students entrusted to them by parents. Perhaps, it’s any adult coach, doctor, nurse, custodian, bus driver, any adult worth their salt and breath for children of all ages, any age. Any kid. Every kid. Yes. We can only hope, right? Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

My new book, Caught in a Web launched yesterday, on Thursday, April 26. It is now available online on Amazon at https://amzn.to/2I9ipGx  but you can also order it from Black Rose Writing at http://bit.ly/2GtdsXL

If you want to know what others have thought of the book so far, you can watch this one minute video at: https://spark.adobe.com/video/12jP26B9bxtLB  You will notice some very nice reviews.

For those of you in the Fredericksburg, Virginia area, I am doing three Caught in a Web book sale and signing events. You can find me at:

April 28 Porter Library in Stafford from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.

May 5 England Run Library in Stafford/Fredericksburg from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.

May 12 Salem Church Library in Spotsylvania/Fredericksburg from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.

Feel free to connect with me on Social Media:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI /