A Matter of Perspective

Way back, I had the opportunity to coach high school and college basketball. I was fortunate to land a head coaching position right out of college at the second smallest school in the state of Wyoming. At that time, the entire high school had 72 kids. Total. That’s it. Yes, seriously. But I loved it and I have to admit I learned so much more from them than they ever learned from me.

Fortunately, there were hard-working ranch and farm kids who were uber talented. No kidding. In my three years there, we went 52-17, went to the state tournament three times, won the state consolation championship my first year, played for and lost the state championship my second year, and won the state championship my third year. Went on to be a graduate assistant at a university, but other than obtaining my master’s degree in counseling, didn’t like the experience. Went back to high school coaching at a Waukesha North in Wisconsin (one of the settings for my crime thriller novels) and eventually got out of coaching altogether. A good run. Lots of fun and fond memories. Lots of stories and great young men I was honored to coach along the way.

I had a coaching philosophy that was a tough sell. I believed the two most important players were the point guard, because he had to be me on the court. He had to be the coach, the cheerleader, and he had to keep his head when everyone else, including me, lost theirs. Gene, Dave, Steve, great point guards. Wouldn’t trade them for any other guys.

The other most important player wasn’t a starter. He was my sixth man. He came off the bench when I needed a fire put out or when we needed a fire started.

Do you know how hard a sell that is? To tell a kid, you’re one of the most important players on the team, but you aren’t going to start? The kid didn’t necessarily buy into it. His parents didn’t buy into it. A real tough, hard sell.

But . . .

Ronny and Tim ended up all-conference in that role. So did Scott. Mike was invaluable and accounted for turning more than one or two games around.

It was A Matter of Perspective.

That formula worked for the teams I coached. The kids had success. I played a lot of kids in each game. Some for a lot of minutes, feeling that I couldn’t take them out of the game. Others, a few minutes here and there, but there were a lot of kids who played in each game. They practiced, they played. Kind of simple for me.

There are two perspectives that have to be taken into account.

The first is the perspective of the starter. Sometimes a star, sometimes a role player, but both start. They join the circle at half-court for the opening tip and both will play a lot of minutes. Accolades accompany their roles. Pats on the back. Fan chants. You get the picture, I’m sure. You probably know a few of those kids back in your own school experience, right?

The second is the perspective of the kid on the bench. Quietly waiting for his or her turn, his or her time to play. Maybe just happy to be on the team and excepting his or her role. Maybe silently brooding and wondering what he or she has to do to be a starter, what he or she has to do to get into the game, what he or she has to do to get a few more minutes.

Pick the sport and pick the gender. In basketball, there are only five guys at any one time on the court. Only five. 32 minutes total, 8 minutes each quarter. Not a lot of time to distribute, is it?

But each kid, each player works hard to his or her ability. Talent is equally distributed, but opportunity not so much. Sort of like life, isn’t it?

Each of us has a talent. Some of us have many talents. Each of us knows someone who we admire and perhaps secretly wish we were more like because he or she can do this and that so well. And then there is that person who has that one thing he or she can do well. Maybe two things, who knows? But the opportunity to display it isn’t there. The right time, the right moment, the right place doesn’t arrive. We seek it, but can’t find it. Other times, we’re denied, unfairly, of an opportunity to shine.

As I said before, a lot like life, isn’t it?

Perhaps each of us can take a little time today, tomorrow, next week or month, to create an opportunity for someone to shine, if even for one moment. To encourage. To lift up. To build up. To take ourselves out of the spotlight in order for the light to shine on someone else. I’m willing to give it a shot. How about you? Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

My book, Caught in a Web has picked up some terrific reviews recently. “…cruelty of bullying, unfairness of dying young, horror of drug addiction; a writer who has seen what he writes about.” Authors Favorites “. . .probes the worlds of teens and gang members...precise, staccato details . . . the right blend of tension and intrigue . . .” Midwest Book Review "Important, nail-biting . . . one of the year's best conspiracy thrillers" Best Thrillers. “An epic journey through the quagmire that teenagers are subjected to in today’s schools . . . focuses on inexplicable issues where there are no neat answers as to why these things happen or how to eradicate the scourge.” AuthorsReading

If you are interested in finding out more about who I am or why I write what I do, I had the great opportunity to have been interviewed recently on two video shows. You can find them one hosted by Joseph Carrabis titled Author Plunge at http://www.josephcarrabis.com/2018/08/08/joseph-lewis-teens-drugs-and-gangs-o-my/#more-1443 The other is Author's Corner Live! Here is the link for the interview! https://www.facebook.com/Bridgetti.Live/videos/741588262840014/

So thanks to them and to all who have taken a chance on reading Caught in a Web. If you are interested in a copy on either Kindle or in Paperback, you can find it on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696  or on Barnes and Noble at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/caught-in-a-web-joseph-lewis/1128250923?ean=9781684330249

And if you do give Caught in a Web a shot, please leave a rating and a review. I would appreciate it. Thanks for this consideration!

I have some exciting news:

Black Rose Writing, the company that published Caught in a Web has accepted for publication another of my books, Spiral into Darkness and it will be out in January 2019. On my author page on Facebook, I will post passages and snippets from time to time and keep you updated on the publishing progress. It is currently in the editing process.

Connect with me on Social Media:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI /

*The photo is courtesy of Mikito Tateisi and Unsplash* 

In Silence

There are times in the year when I feel particularly pushed and pulled. There are times in the year when I want to slow it all down. Times when I feel I can’t move fast enough. That is not to say I’ve ever moved very quickly, but I could, at one time, get around a bit.

We’re getting ready for the new school year. Parts of our building are getting a paint job. Floors are getting washed, waxed and polished. We’re deciding how we want to begin the year and sustain that effort and momentum throughout the year. It all takes time and planning and it seems that there isn’t enough time left.

Left . . .

Tomorrow, Hannah moves to Pittsburgh to begin her new life. She has a new job and a new apartment. Well, yes, she has been away at school for four or five years, but Kim and I always knew she’d be home for the summer or a weekend here or there. In Pittsburgh is her boyfriend and it seems to be permanence to it.

This time, there is a sense of finality. Yes, I understand that birds leave the nest. The butterfly emerges from the cocoon. Life marches on. Another chapter in the book of life. Whatever analogy you want to use, insert it here. I get it. You get it. But I don’t have to like it and I don’t.

I knew this day was coming. Sort of like standing on train tracks and staring at the bright light speeding towards me. It starts our slow and distant. But as it nears, the horn plays its discordant note, shouts it ugly tune. It picks up speed and then it’s on you.

I tried to prepare myself for it as best I can. But I have to admit, I’m hurting at the moment.

I’ve noticed that when hurting, I retreat inside a little. Maybe a lot, I guess. I become silent, perhaps brooding though I try not to do that. Brooding doesn’t do anyone any good.

I know Hannah is thinking about it too. So is Kim. But no one is saying much. Maybe because there is so much to say it’s overwhelming. Maybe because we don’t know how to begin, how to say it. There is so much feeling right now. The twist and turn of emotion- up, down, sideways.

And we’re left with silence.

At times, silence can be comforting. Silence can be like that fluffy soft sweater and comfortable pair of jeans with feet snug and warm in slippers as you sit on the couch in a corner and listen and think. Silence can be like the warm fire, snapping and popping along, the glow and shadow dancing haphazardly, rhythmically. A favorite chair. Feet on the hassock or curled under you as you sip a cup of coffee or hot chocolate. Listening to the sounds of the house. Listening to the sounds of . . . silence.

The energy seems to leave you slowly, steadily like . . . life. That life. That one life.

And we’re left with memories. First steps. The coffee mug with her picture. The leather bracelet she gave me. The trip to Disney World way back when she was a kid. Scoring the goal for the other team because she had a breakaway in the wrong direction and her tears upon realizing that she had done something wrong. Dancing with me at her prom, neither of us caring what anyone thought.

Tears after a breakup. Her struggle with this subject and that teacher. An email asking for editing help. Endless laughter and stories about her day and kids and people within it.

So she’ll leave tomorrow morning and amongst the bags of clothes and shoes and knickknacks will be my heart. My heart forever hers. Forever. Enough of it, anyway, so that it will help her through busy times and hard times and all times in between. Enough of it so that she will know and remember and smile and find hope and love. Lots of love. Always love. Forever. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

My book, Caught in a Web has picked up some terrific reviews recently. This particular one can be found on Amazon from Tiffany S . . .

“5+ STARS! Couldn’t put it down... read it from cover to cover in just a few days, AND I’m THAT reader who typically is in the middle of 3-4 books at one time and often does not finish one or two of them as I have so many interests and am highly active.

Spellbinding, well written, unapologetically graphic about a world that needs to be exposed to the public and a story that needs to be shared.

There were times in which I was “surprised” by the deep and loving relationships among Jeremy and the boys he has become a father to after they have all gone through these horrible experiences. However, I asked the author, whom I met at a book signing once, where he got his knowledge for these dark, highly disturbing subjects, and he told me that he had spent over a decade as a child counselor, so very sadly he has seen the children and teenagers who have suffered from all sorts of abuse. He was also a basketball coach and is now a successful senior high school principal. So, I give him the benefit of the doubt ... perhaps this is the sort of loving support that would be normal to help young people get their lives back on any kind of normal track.

Again, many thanks to the author for sharing the dark side of human nature and exposing it to the light.”

And this one from Justin B . . .

“Another fantastic book by Joseph Lewis. After enjoying his Lives series (dealing with human trafficking), I was eager to see how this spin off/sequel/continuation played out. I have to say that I was not disappointed! The characters from the Lives series reappear, with elements of the aftermath of that series playing a role. However, this book does not deal in human trafficking; this time, they are facing another, new issue that is relevant to today's society - a drug epidemic.

All of the mainstays of Lewis's writing appear - good dialogue and character development, a thrilling plot, and a slight edge of the supernatural. I couldn't turn the pages fast enough and loved every moment. I highly recommend this book!”

So thanks to them and to all who have taken a chance on reading Caught in a Web. If you are interested in a copy on either Kindle or in Paperback, you can find it on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696 or on Barnes and Noble at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/caught-in-a-web-joseph-lewis/1128250923?ean=9781684330249

And if you do give Caught in a Web a shot, please leave a rating and a review. I would appreciate it. Thanks for this consideration!

I have some exciting news:

Black Rose Writing, the company that published Caught in a Web has accepted for publication another of my books, Spiral into Darkness and it will be out in January 2019. On my author page on Facebook, I will post passages and snippets from time to time and keep you updated on the publishing progress. It is currently in the editing process.

Connect with me on Social Media:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI /

A Wil-Full Act of Kindness

Those of you who read my blog know that I have a thing for people being kind to one another. I have a thing for people being considerate and compassionate and empathetic. I write regularly about these topics, whether they relate to kids or to adults.

The past two years at the commencement ceremony, I told the kids that my generation . . . our generation . . . failed. And I meant it. Still do.

Any newspaper, any newscast gives us example after example of people treating people less then. Put downs, sarcasm, disparaging remarks are part and parcel of our everyday language. Elected officials lying incessantly. Greed. Scandals. You name it.

July 12^th is the remembrance of our son’s death. Four years ago, Wil was shot and killed at the hands of a kid involved in a gang. A .45 was given to this kid, then fifteen-year-old, by a thirty-one-year-old ‘adult’. One shot hit anyone and that one shot hit my son as he walked down the street on his way home from lunch and running errands. Just happened to be on the street as this fifteen-year-old tried to shoot and kill a gang rival. Our son was between them and he died on that sidewalk.

One of Wil’s friends, Sarah, messaged me on Facebook recently and suggested we call July 12^th the Wil-Full Acts of Kindness day. I liked the idea. You see, at his celebration of life, my wife, Kim, and our two daughters, Hannah and Emily, witnessed firsthand the impact Wil had on others. No, Wil wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t a saint. Not saying that he was. Wil made his share of mistakes. We all do and Wil was no different.

But he was also a young man who made something out of the life he was given. Adopted from Guatemala at age seven. He struggled to learn the English language. He suffered from a learning disability, but he never let that hold him back. What I like most about Wil is that he brought a smile to others. He enjoyed laughing and causing others to laugh. Wil was a pretty sharp young man and I’m proud of who he had become. The day before he was shot and killed, Wil received a call informing him that he had received his dream job. He had been on his way.

So here is what we’d like you to do . . .

Simple really: Do something nice for someone. It can be great or small. A kind word. A kind gesture. Buy someone a cold drink if it’s a hot day where you live. Buy someone’s lunch or a cup of coffee if you have the means to do so. Hand someone a flower. Leave someone a smile. It can be anything you choose to do for someone else without any expectation of something given in return. It’s even possible you might not receive a thank you.

The only thing I ask, if at all possible and if you are comfortable in doing so, is that you explain you are choosing to do a Wil-Full Act of Kindness in honor of my son, Wil Lewis, who died four years ago. You may or may not have known him. You may or may not know me. That’s okay. But on July 12^th you are trying to do something nice for someone, one small thing to lighten a load, ease a burden and lift someone’s heart.

That’s it. Pretty simple really. Simple, but I ask you to consider that if ten or more of us, a hundred or more of us do this on one day, July 12^th, how much nicer that one day will be for someone.

And I’m also willing to bet that July 12^th will be that much nicer for you too, for each of us. Because I believe that one can’t help but feel good and feel lighter by helping another soul, helping to make someone’s moment, someone’s day a little better.

So . . . could we try a Wil-Full Act of Kindness Day? Maybe? Perhaps? Thank you in advance for this consideration on behalf of my wife, Kim, our daughters, Hannah and Emily, and our son, Wil. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

About the photo: Wil was a fashion photographer. I don’t know who took the shot, but if I did, I’d be happy to give the person credit. This is Wil working on a photo shoot. It’s one of our favorite photos.