It’s that time of
year again. For me and for almost all of my staff except for a few, the school
year is over. Kids departed on their buses or rides about two hours ago. Much
of my staff are putting the last touches on grades or cleaning classrooms, packing
up this or that to take home for the summer. And I sit in the quiet of my
office. And it is quiet.
Tomorrow, the
seniors walk in the Commencement ceremony. It never gets old for me. Each class
does it a little differently, but it is mostly the same each year. It’s tiring
and nerve-wracking, but at the same time, satisfying and worth it.
Nice stories in
this class and nice stories for this year.
Ethan . . .
I had gotten to
know this little guy, a freshman, over the course of the year mostly through a
healthy give and take rivalry over the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota
Vikings. On Fridays before a game or Mondays after a game, he or I would wear our team's jersey, catch each other and poke fun at each other. During soccer, we’d talk and
he’d ask if I was going to go to his game. So I did. More than one.
One day last week,
he wandered into the cafeteria before school and looked out of sorts, kind of
down. I asked him what was wrong and he said he had to change travel soccer
teams. He explained that the new team would be better for him, but still. We
talked about it further and after, I asked him if he had any big plans for the
summer. He said he and his family have a time share near the beach and were
going to spend a week there. I mentioned that my wife and I were looking into
renting something in South Carolina near the beach because we were thinking
that might be an area we’d move to after retirement.
This seemed to
stun him. He was shocked, but more than that, he seemed hurt. Ethan said, “I
don’t want you to retire.” I told him it would be a while before we do and he
repeated in a quiet voice, “No, I don’t want you to retire.” I didn’t know
quite what to say, but I managed a, “Well, how about when you’re a senior, we
leave together.” He looked down at his shoe, looked back up and said, “Okay.”
That was one of
the nicest moments this year among many. It warmed my heart to think that
somehow, some way, I had managed to forge a relationship based upon a football
rivalry and a mutual love of soccer.
Got me thinking .
. .
We Never Know the
impact our words or actions can have on someone. We move around in our world
and we rub elbows, exchanged bits of conversation, a laugh or two and move on
to something and someone else. From our vantage point, fairly innocuous, rather
bland if not innocent.
Or perhaps . . .
We might lose it
with someone. We might use words that cut to the heart and soul of someone and
they end up crawling off to a corner to lick their wounds or bleed to death.
And we might never know it. Pride, after all. We move on, he or she does not.
We think it’s over and done, when for that individual- a kid, a colleague, a
loved one- it cements feelings of inadequacy, hurt, failure, loneliness, “not good
enough” and no ability or talent or strength to improve or do better next time.
Perhaps . . .
Instead of
choosing the most hurtful thing to say, we smile, nod a head and move on before
we do any lasting damage. Instead of belittling someone behind his or her back,
we walk away or better yet, steer the conversation away. Instead of piling on
the hurt or degradation or humiliation, we take time to build up, to encourage,
to foster hope and promise.
Honestly, I
reflect back on my interactions with Ethan and I don’t see much to have caused
him sadness and disappointment, even hurt when I told him that someday I might
retire. A smile in the morning. A tease or two. A game or two. But somehow, in
some way, I made a difference in that kid’s life. I wonder, how many other kids
I . . . we . . . might have done that for or to a kid or kids in both good and bad
ways. It happens and I’m sure it happened. But We Might Never Know, will we?
Something to think about . . .
For My Readers:
Some Great News!
My book, Caught in a Web, will be $.99 from
6.21.18 – 6.23.18! It’s a limited time but the eBook (Kindle and Nook) will be
available at this site: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696
It has received some tremendous reviews that I’m proud of, but they are also
humbling. So those of you who have read it, thank you for passing on the
positive vibes.
Caught in a Web is
available in both paperback and Kindle format on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Caught-Web-Joseph-Lewis/dp/1684330246/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524752314&sr=1-1&keywords=caught+in+a+web+joseph+lewis
and at Barnes & Noble at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/caught-in-a-web-joseph-lewis/1128250923?ean=9781684330249
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