When I was twenty-two, I landed my first teaching and coaching position. In Wyoming.
I
had been there twice in my life previously. Once was as an eighth grader when
my mom and dad took my brother Jeff and me to Yellowstone. The second time was
when I interviewed for that position. That was my only experience with “the
West.”
But
as a social studies major, my interest was in both the West – cowboys and
Indians, and the Civil War. Both paid off. I blend in Navajo lore and culture
into my books. One of my main characters and a readers’ favorite, George, is a
full-blooded Navajo boy. And now, I currently live in an area rich in history
from the colonial period through the civil war, and to modern history with D.C.
just up the road.
However,
at 22 years of age, moving to Wyoming was daunting. I was on my own in a place
where I knew no one and no one knew me. I was lonely. I was alone. I dealt with
a great deal of stress.
Later
in my career, I moved to California by myself without knowing anyone. I was
older, but still. I had never been there except to interview. Again, I was
lonely and I was alone. I dealt with a great deal of stress.
When
I sat down to write this, I almost put the Sh in front of It. I didn’t because
it would have offended some, perhaps many. But when you think of it, stress is
quite a bit of –it.
And
the thing is, each of us handles stress differently. Anger. Apathy. Frustration.
Boredom. Loneliness. Aloneness. Sadness, if not Despair. Restlessness. With the
current Covid-19 running rampant, I wonder how many of us can tick off the
adjectives listed above to describe the feelings we have.
Those
of you who know me, know that Kim and I lost a son, Wil, to a bullet as he
walked down a street towards his apartment. One gang wanted to shoot and kill a
rival. Wil was in the middle and he was the only one who was shot and the only
one who died. But what I want to focus on was the stress Kim and I felt.
This
afternoon, Kim was about to walk out the door to hunt for toilet paper among
other things. She walked into the garage, but came back in because she forgot the
keys to the car. She stopped and looked at me, shook her head and said, “I feel
as scatterbrained as I did when Wil died.” Stress.
I
handled the stress differently, though I, too, was just as scatterbrained back
then. I bottled up everything. I think to this day, I don’t think I mourned my
son’s death, and the counseling background I have knows that isn’t healthy. Still,
I didn’t give myself permission to mourn because I felt I needed to remain
strong for Kim, for our daughters, Hannah and Emily. I found (and find) myself
crying at odd times- still do. I hide it, but the tears are there and so are
the feelings.
Handling
It. Or –It.
We
are in unchartered waters, you and I. Hell, we’re in the middle of the ocean
without a raft or boat or life preserver. We don’t know which direction the
shore sits. And, there are things lurking under the surface of the water we’re
paddling in.
Some
of us might worry about the next meal or the next paycheck or if the next bill
will push us over the edge. We worry about our loved ones, young and old. Some
have pre-existing conditions. Some are in that vulnerable age group. We try to
take care, but there are others who don’t.
If
you are like me, in the back of your mind you wonder if you’re just dreaming,
and at some point, you’ll wake up and this will be over. Quarantined? What the
heck? A week or two, okay, we can do that. Three months? Seriously?
Each
of us handle it differently, yet in the same way. We will run the gamut of
emotions and feelings. There will be short tempers and the trying of patience. There
will be words we didn’t mean. There will be actions we wish we could take back.
Some of it. All of it. –It.
I
think we need to remember that we are human. We will make mistakes. We’ll learn
to swim in that ocean. We’ll spot the shore eventually and we’ll pull ourselves
up onto the warm sand, dry off and rest. That’s what we will do.
It
won’t be without some pain. It won’t be without some fear. There will be loss.
But we are resilient creatures, you and I. Our world, and our psyche might
change. Our personality and our relationships might change. But depending upon
how we handle it, or how we handle –it, we can come out of this stronger and
with a greater sense of who we are as a person and as a people. That is my
wish. That is my hope. It’s all in how we handle it. Something to think about .
. .
Live
Your Life, and Make A Difference!
To
My Readers:
My
new book, Betrayed, will debut Nov. 12, 2020! It is a
contemporary psychological thriller using some of the same characters from my
previous work. It takes place on the Navajo Nation Reservation in northeast
Arizona. I will post parts and passages on my author page on Facebook. Here
are two advance reviews from two awesome authors:
“Adopted
and bonding as a family, with histories of death, destruction and for
some...abuse, these boys band together—ready to lay down their life for their
new family—in order to find a missing friend before dangerous gunmen find them.
A
whirlwind of adventure, relationships, protecting family, hair-raising
situations, and cold betrayal.”
—Tina O’Hailey author of When Darkness
Begins
“A
boy goes missing in Navajo Nation, a family is killed. Onto the next adventure
for three brothers, including one who grew up there, to search for him. As to
be expected, danger awaits, but these are not ordinary teens. They have faced
harrowing situations before, and now they will rely on the skills and
experience they’ve developed to get through this one.
Once
again, author Joseph Lewis has written a fast-paced psychological thriller
mystery that immerses readers into a dark world few encounter.”
— Joan Livingston, author of the Isabel
Long Mystery Series
Connect
with me on Social Media:
Twitter at @jrlewisauthor
Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author
Caught
in a Web is now available in Audio format. You can find it
at https://www.beaconaudiobooks.com/audiobookreleases/high-school-drug-rings-gangs-and-revenge-are-all-encompassing-in-caught-in-a-web-by-joseph-lewis
Spiral
Into Darkness:
Named
a Recommended Read in the Author Shout Reader Awards!
He
blends in. He is successful, intelligent and methodical. He has a list and has
murdered eight on it so far. There is no discernible pattern. There are no
clues. There are no leads. The only thing the FBI and local police have to go
on is the method of death: two bullets to the face- gruesome and meant to send
a message. But it’s difficult to understand any message coming from a dark and
damaged mind. Two adopted boys, struggling in their own world, have no idea
they are the next targets. Neither does their family. And neither does local
law enforcement. https://amzn.to/2RBWvTm
Caught
in a Web:
A
PenCraft Literary Award Winner!
The
bodies of high school and middle school kids are found dead from an overdose of
heroin and fentanyl. The drug trade along the I-94 and I-43 corridors and the
Milwaukee Metro area is controlled by MS-13, a violent gang originating from El
Salvador. Ricardo Fuentes is sent from Chicago to Waukesha to find out who is
cutting in on their business, shut it down and teach them a lesson. But he has
an ulterior motive: find and kill a fifteen-year-old boy, George Tokay, who had
killed his cousin the previous summer.
Detectives
Jamie Graff, Pat O’Connor and Paul Eiselmann race to find the source of the
drugs, shut down the ring, and find Fuentes before he kills anyone else,
especially George or members of his family. The three detectives discover the
ring has its roots in a high school among the students and staff. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKF7696
Book
One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:
Two
thirteen-year-old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and
his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all
the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the
possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved. http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis
Book
Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
Six
men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity,
are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no
clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them.
http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis
Book
Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
A
14-year-old boy knows the end is coming. What he doesn’t know is when, where or
by whom. Without that knowledge, neither he nor the FBI can protect him or his
family.
The
Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI
Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of
six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t
know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11-year-old Brett McGovern, and
11-year-old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become
interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three
of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in
jeopardy as each search for a way out. http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis
Photo
courtesy of Christian Erfurt and Unsplash
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Thank you for your comment. I welcome your thought. Joe