As I’ve written
many times, I grew up in a large family. There were ten kids and I was the
second youngest. There is a twenty year difference between the oldest, Donna,
and the youngest, Jeff. Big families are like that.
I remember that
each Sunday, our family would sit on the left for the 9:15 AM mass, usually in
one of the first ten pews. All of us, all together. Once a month on a Saturday,
dad would drive us to church for confession. Not exactly sure why the
frequency, but it was important to dad so we went.
My brothers and
sisters and I were the youngest there by light-years. Even my dad would be
considered young in comparison to those kneeling in pews or in front of votive
candles. I remember mentioning this to my dad. He thought about it in silence
for a bit and then mentioned something to the effect that as we get older, we
realize better how we erred. We realize that the end is near, and we realize
that we need to make amends.
I must have
looked up at him with a furrowed brow or at least an unspoken question on my
lips, because he smiled and said something like, “When you get older, you’ll
understand that you’ll look back on your life, all the mistakes you’ve made, all
things you said or did, and you’ll want to say, ‘I’m sorry.’”
Hmmm . . .
I’ve always been
a spiritual kind of guy. For most of my life, I’ve been a religious kind of
guy. I guess it goes back to being raised in the family I was born into, being
taught by nuns from first through eighth grade, and then going to the high
school I went to, which was a co-ed boarding school that used to be a seminary.
But it wasn’t
until recently that I realized that I had More Yesterdays Than Tomorrows left in
me. That’s a sudden and stark realization.
There was no one
incident that caused that realization. There is no illness other than a few
more aches and pains. I’m in pretty good health. I’m happy. Life is good. Kim
and I are faced with being empty nesters in August and neither of us are quite
sure what to make of that. So, no, there wasn’t one thing I can point to that
caused me to say to myself that I have More Yesterdays Than Tomorrows. Yeah,
being sixty-two, I really am on the downhill side of the mountain.
And aside from
retirement accounts (in about six years, I figure) and life insurance and such,
I have to consider what I’ve left for Kim, for Hannah, and for Emily.
Did I do enough
for them? Was I a good example for them? Am I someone they tolerate and kind of
ignore or do they like having me around? Was I a good enough dad for Hannah and
Emily, and as I interact with Kim, who is my best friend, am I showing Hannah
and Emily what a good husband might be?
Knowing that I
have made, and will continue to make, mistakes, do I own them or place blame on
others? Are my words meaningful and loving or are they careless and hurtful? Do
I smile enough, laugh enough? Is my heart full enough and do I freely and
lovingly give all that is in my heart away enough? Do I continue to trust even
though I might get burned from time to time?
Do I forgive . .
. others . . . myself . . . for all that I did do, didn’t do, and did say or
didn’t say? Have I used the gifts I was given? Did I share my gifts with others
and help bring out the gifts in others?
So many things
for me to consider. So many questions to ask myself. And . . . so many things
for you to consider and so many questions to ask yourself. Something . . . many
things, actually . . . to think about . . .
Live Your Life,
and Make A Difference!
For My Readers:
Please feel free
to connect with me at
Twitter
at @jrlewisauthor
Facebook
at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author
If you would
like to read a recent interview of
me and my work, you can find it at http://bit.ly/29yA9IT
If you like to read thriller/mystery, check out:
Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:
Two thirteen
year old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of
FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others-
dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility
exists that one of his team members might be involved. http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis
Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:
Six men escaped
and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger
and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no
leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them. http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis
Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:
The FBI knows a
14 year old boy has a price on his head, but he and his family don’t. With no
leads and with nothing to go on, the FBI gambles and sets up the boy and his
family as bait in order to catch three dangerous and desperate men with
absolutely nothing to lose.
The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:
FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search
for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of
the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI
Kelliher, 11 year old Brett McGovern, and 11 year old George Tokay are separate
pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that
Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course
and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way
out. http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comment. I welcome your thought. Joe