My heart sort of
fell apart a little yesterday. It was Emily’s twentieth birthday. A happy day
normally. End of the teen years and stepping into adulthood. But it was also
the day Kim and I moved her out of her dorm room and into an apartment with two
of her teammates as roommates. She has two jobs she’ll be working this summer.
And, she’ll be living in Greensboro, not at home with us. Not.
It is sad for me.
Real sad.
Of course at the
start of the day, Em was excited. It was her apartment. Her own keys and her
own address. Her own mailbox. Her own room. New pots and pans and mixing bowls.
New lamps and a new bedspread. Everything new.
At the end of the
day and after the great, grand move in, there was a birthday dinner celebrated
with her boyfriend, her two roommates and their families. Lots of laughter and
smiles.
And then as we got
ready to leave and as we stood outside by the car that would take Kim and me
away, I think reality set in for all of us. There were hugs and tears. And that
was when I felt big chunks of my heart fall away. I think Kim and Em felt the
same thing. It was the reality that she is there and we are here and our lives-
Em’s, Kim’s, Hannah’s and mine- will be different.
I’m a little bit older
today . . . not so much physically, although I am that too. But emotionally. I’m
not ready for it. Maybe someday, down the road. But I’m not ready for it today.
Just not.
And as I think
about it, this time of year is sort of the journey down the End of the Road for
many of us and in various ways.
It’s the start of
the end of the year. It’s the start of the end of routine- for teachers, for
parents, and even for the kids.
Some will retire.
Some are moving on to different jobs and different positions. Kids are
graduating. Other kids are moving one grade closer to graduating. And still
other kids will be making the move to high school. Others to middle school.
Others will enter kindergarten.
I get it. Life
keeps moving. I get it. Life moves forward and doesn’t stop just because we
want it to . . . maybe need it to. I get it. But I don’t have to like it.
There is an
analogy. Stick your hand in a moving stream or river and the water continues to
move around it. Your hand doesn’t stop the water from moving. Not at all. All
your hand does is get wet.
And, no matter how
I feel . . . how we feel . . . life keeps moving forward. It marches to its own
beat, its own rhythm. It is independent and separate, yet it involves us
whether we want to be involved or not.
So, this is the
time of year when I most feel I’m on the journey towards the End of the Road.
Knowing of course, that there will be a new road, a different road. Knowing
that there will be a different journey. And like the last journey, some of it
will be fun and joyful, just as some of it will be sad and maybe painful.
As much as I’d like
to buck up and say, “All is good and it is the way it should be!” I can’t. I’m
not ready to. As I said, I’m a little bit older today. I’m not ready for it.
Maybe someday, down the road. But I’m not ready for it today. Just not. And I
think that’s okay. For me. For you. For us. It’s okay. Something to think about
. . .
Life Your Life,
and Make A Difference!
To My Readers:
I have been really
blessed with some wonderful reviews on my new novel, Caught in a Web. Best
Thrillers wrote: “The Bottom Line: This important, nail-biting crime
thriller about MS-13 sets the bar very high. One of the year’s best thrillers.”
You can read the entire review (rather short, but impactful) at https://bestthrillers.com/caught-in-a-web-one-of-the-years-best-conspiracy-thrillers/
Another review,
from Diane Donovan, Senior Reviewer at
The Midwest Book Review wrote: “As the investigators review relationships,
affairs, and threats, they find themselves unraveling an ever-increasing web of
deception as readers are carried into a thrilling underworld of gang violence
and teen involvements which gradually lead to a resolution where characters may
fudge on honesty, but tie up loose ends.
Characters are
many, but are well-drawn; the action offers just the right blend of tension and
intrigue; and detective story enthusiasts will especially relish the level of
emotional inquiry which makes the characters both human and believable.
The result is an
involving detective piece that probes the worlds of teens and gang members with
an equal attention to precise, staccato details that flow smoothly into a story
that creates a satisfying conclusion to all conundrums.” You can read the
entire review, again fairly short, at http://www.midwestbookreview.com/mbw/may_18.htm#donovan
Caught in a Web is
available in both paperback and Kindle
format on Amazon at: https://www.amazon.com/Caught-Web-Joseph-Lewis/dp/1684330246/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524752314&sr=1-1&keywords=caught+in+a+web+joseph+lewis
For those of you
in the Fredericksburg, Virginia area, I am doing the last of three Caught in a Web book sale and signing
events. You can find me at:
Tomorrow, Saturday, May 12 Salem Church Library in Spotsylvania/Fredericksburg
from 1:00 – 3:00 p.m.
Connect with me on Social Media:
Twitter at
@jrlewisauthor
Facebook at:
https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author