Humble And Kind

Humble And Kind

I sang this song to the seniors, the class of 2016, at our commencement. For those of you who don’t know, rather than give a speech or a principal’s address, I select a song that “fits” that particular class and I sing it to them. I use musicians who are graduates, but sometimes use former grads or grads to be. It’s something I’ve done for the last twelve or thirteen years. The song is kept a secret, which can be hard at times, especially this year, since my daughter, Emily, was one of the graduates. But I was able to keep it from her, too.

I picked the song, Humble And Kind, currently on the radio and sung by Tim McGraw, because more so than other graduates, they embody both qualities.

Our Valedictorian not only graduated from high school, but he also graduated with an Associate Degree from our local community college. He is an all-state golfer and an all-state jazz musician. By any measure, he is bright. But what I like most about him is that he is Humble. I’ve never heard him brag. I’ve never seen him lord it over anyone else. He goes about life with a smile on his face and a ready laugh.

Oh, and about a month ago, he and his family woke up in the middle of the night because their house caught on fire and burnt to the ground. They lost most everything. For several days, they were in a hotel. People rallied around them. Our school rallied around them. Clothes, keepsakes, family treasures, all gone. But he didn’t complain. He kept his smile and he kept his spirit. Humble!

A teacher told me a story about one of the seniors. She had come in to see him inquiring about her final grade for the course. The teacher had told her that she had earned a B+. She began to cry, but smiled through it. She told the teacher, “This is for my mom! She never graduated from high school.” Humble!

I rarely get political in my posts and this is on purpose. It’s not a lack of interest or concern, but only because that I see my opinion as only my opinion, not worth any more or less than yours.

I think there is too much arrogance in our world today. There is too much meanness as a result of that arrogance, and I haven’t decided whether or not that breeds ignorance or if ignorance breeds the meanness. But one just has to look at the current political campaign for president. A whole lot of arrogance, meanness and ignorance. ’Nuff said about that.

In my introduction to the song, I apologized to the grads because I felt our generation didn’t do enough to negate the arrogance, the meanness and the ignorance. I challenged them to make a difference, to bring about the change we failed to make.

I also told them to not mistake being Kind or being Humble as a sign of weakness. I believe it takes so much more strength to be Kind And Humble than it does to be arrogant, mean and ignorant. I see arrogance, meanness and ignorance as signs of weakness.

When I sang that song, I couldn’t make eye contact with the kids. From what I’m told, there were tears. From what I’m told, the thousands of parents and grandparents, family and friends were silent, eerily so. Guys, I’m no Tim McGraw- far from it. I did the best I could, honest! I’ve known some of these kids since they were in fifth grade. Many have been over at my house for sleepovers and movie nights. With my daughter, Emily, sitting in the front row, I dared not look in that direction. I only faltered once, towards the end, but I made it through.

I got into education way, way back because I like and enjoy kids. I learn so much more from them than I think I’ll ever teach them. Really! And I know that they know a thing or two about being Kind and being Humble. I think we can learn a lot from them. God help us if we don’t. And worse, God help us if we don’t walk with them down that path called Humble And Kind. God help us if none of us take that path. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

You can follow me:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI/   

If you like to read thriller/mystery, check out:

Book One of the Lives Trilogy, Stolen Lives:

Two thirteen year old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved.

http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis   

Book Two of the Lives Trilogy, Shattered Lives:

Six men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them.

http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis   

Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:

The FBI knows a 14 year old boy has a price on his head, but he and his family don’t. With no leads and with nothing to go on, the FBI gambles and sets up the boy and his family as bait in order to catch three dangerous and desperate men with absolutely nothing to lose.

http://tinyurl.com/Splintered-Lives-J-Lewis   

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:

FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they don’t know one another, the lives of FBI Kelliher, 11 year old Brett McGovern, and 11 year old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand. The three of them are on a collision course and when that happens, their lives are in jeopardy as each search for a way out.

http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis

Holding On To Stress

Once upon a time, I presented workshops on Stress and how to manage it. At the time, I was winding down my teaching career and entering into the counseling portion of my life. My stress workshops were an outgrowth of my teaching at a technical college on business and leadership, and I have to say I miss teaching still today. I miss counseling even more.

To a degree, each of us faces stress. For instance, a batter in baseball approaches the plate and there is a certain amount of stress he feels, should feel, as he faces the pitcher. After all, his team and his manager expect him to get on base. Now, add a runner or two on base, add an out or two, and add in the scoreboard indicating that the batter’s team is behind by one run in the bottom of the ninth. The stress is amplified quite a bit from one scenario to the other.

I may have written this once in the past, but folks, I’m not a very good basketball player. Yes, I could coach the game, but I give credit to the players much more so than any coaching I did. I had wonderful, coachable players, and I think I was more of a motivator than anything else. But I remember as an eighth grader standing at the free throw line in the closing minutes of a very close game. A nail-biter, as they might say. Pressure was on. I felt stress. I still feel it today, many years later. I missed. It clanked off the rim and fell into the wrong team’s hands. I couldn’t tell you if we won or lost that game, I truly don’t remember, but I can tell you the result of that free throw.

As I said, each of us feels stress. Some of it we place on ourselves, while some of it is given to us. Some stress is healthy: a baseball player, a NASCAR driver, someone headed into a room for an interview for a job or promotion. That kind of stress comes and goes and sharpens our senses and our reflexes while it is present, and then we can relax and move on.

But then there is a different kind of stress.

Recently, I found a very short video on Facebook. A psychologist had a glass of water, and some of the students wondered if she would ask the question, “Is the glass half-full or half-empty.” She didn’t.

Rather, she asked, “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?” There were guesses ranging from several grams to many grams. What she said was that, “The weight of the glass doesn’t really matter. It’s how long I hold it that matters.”

She went on to explain that if she held it for a minute or two, there wouldn’t be any problem. If she held it for an hour, her hand and arm might cramp up. If she held it for a day, her arm would feel like it was paralyzed. The weight of the glass didn’t matter, but the length of time she held it did.

She stated that stress and anxiety are like a glass of water. If we hold on to it for a short time, nothing happens. If we hold on to it for a long time, we start to cramp up- emotionally, perhaps physically. And if we hold on to it all day, we feel paralyzed and are unable to think or to act.

It isn’t healthy for us to Hold On To Stress. It hurts us and it hurts our relationships with others. We begin to question ourselves, our actions, our decisions. Self-doubt creeps in where once there was none.

It’s best to let it go. Seek out a trusted friend, an ear to listen, a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on. And where possible, we can be that trusted friend, the ear for listening, a hand for holding, and the shoulder for leaning. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

I was asked to write a guest post for the blog, Thriller-Writer by Eric Gates. I chose to write on character development and if interested, it can be found at: http://bit.ly/1XwLVZ1

I’ve been asked where readers can find me, so I’m letting you know that I can be found on:

Twitter at @jrlewisauthor

Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/Joseph.Lewis.Author

Amazon at: http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Lewis/e/B01FWB9AOI/

Feel free to stop by, give a like or a follow, and add a comment. Thanks!

jl

Growing Older

I’m getting old!

No surprise, I guess. I look in the mirror and wonder, ‘Where did my hair grow?’ My wife reminds me that it grows everywhere except the top of my head. God’s irony, His little joke, I suppose. His, and my wife’s, sense of humor.

One of the Sackett movies, maybe The Quick And The Dead, but I can’t remember which one, had a scene where a young buck tried to pick a fight with an older grisly-looking cowboy while the old guy tried to eat his dinner. The old guy didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at the young buck. He kept eating his steak and drinking his beer. The old guy’s younger buddy who sat at the same table looked up at the young guy and said something like, “See the lines on his face? That’s experience! That’s his years of putting up with young peacocks like you! They represent miles traveled and mountains climbed and rivers crossed, and he’s still standing. Now leave him be and go away!” When the young buck hesitated, the younger friend repeated, “I said, ‘Leave him be!’” And eventually, the young buck went back to the bar and turned his back on the old guy.

I know I didn’t capture that scene as well as it was written in Louis L’Amour’s book or in the movie, but I remember the scene well.

Yes, I’m old and getting older. My kids are getting older. Hannah graduates from college in December. Emily’s a senior and graduates in about three weeks. Kim and I celebrate twenty-four years together this coming July.

I have my wrinkles and what hair I do have is gray. I move a bit slower, not that I ever moved particularly fast.

Where did the time go?

Funny thing about age. One might look older, but one might feel not so much older. Not so much!

My older brother, Jack, has always said that age is a state of mind. One’s body might fail, but one’s mind and heart and soul doesn’t – unless you allow it to do so.

We can’t necessarily control how our bodies change. We can exercise and diet, but the body will do what it’s going to do. Period.

However, I think we can control our heart and our soul. We don’t have to give into the idea that we’re old. We don’t have to necessarily “act our age!” We can still laugh and act silly and sing off-key. We can still attack life and all that it offers. Perhaps not necessarily attack life, but we certainly can embrace it. All of it.

We can choose to seek new adventures as well as revisit older ones. We can take care of what we do have, and give back to those around us. We can face change . . . and age . . . bravely, fiercely. And when we look in the mirror and see that our hair, those of us who have some, has turned gray. We will see that there might be a few more lines on our face. But we can choose to face that reflection and smile, knowing that each of us, you and I, rode miles, and climbed mountains, and crossed rivers, and know deep within that there are still many more miles and mountains and rivers to come our way. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

Book One, Stolen Lives:

Two thirteen year old boys are abducted off a safe suburban street. Kelliher and his team of FBI agents have 24 hours to find them or they’ll end up like all the others- dead! They have no leads, no clues, and nothing to go on. And the possibility exists that one of his team members might be involved.

http://tinyurl.com/Stolen-Lives-J-Lewis  

Book Two, Shattered Lives:

Arrest warrants were issued, but six dangerous men escaped and are out for revenge. The boys, recently freed from captivity, are in danger and so are their families, but they don’t know it. The FBI has no clues, no leads, and nothing to go on and because of that, cannot protect them.

http://tinyurl.com/Shattered-Lives-J-Lewis  

Book Three of the Lives Trilogy, Splintered Lives:

It began in Arizona and it ends in Arizona- in death. A 14 year old boy has a price on his head, but he and his family don’t know it. Their vacation turns into a trip to hell. Out gunned and outnumbered, can this boy protect his father and brothers? Without knowing who these men are? Or how many there are? Or when they might come for him, for them?  

http://tinyurl.com/Splintered-Lives-J-Lewis  

The Lives Trilogy Prequel, Taking Lives:

FBI Agent Pete Kelliher and his partner search for the clues behind the bodies of six boys left in various and remote parts of the country. Even though they live hundreds of miles apart, the lives of Kelliher, 11 year old Brett McGovern, and 11 year old George Tokay are separate pieces of a puzzle. The two boys become interwoven with the same thread that Pete Kelliher holds in his hand and are on a collision course with death.

http://tinyurl.com/Taking-Lives-J-Lewis  

The Power Of One

The Power Of One

From time to time, I’ve passed on stories about one individual making a difference in the lives of others. Stories about having had a positive impact on the lives of others.

Oskar Schindler was a German industrialist, spy, and member of the Nazi Party who is credited with saving the lives of 1,200 Jews during the Holocaust by employing them in his enamelware and ammunitions factories. I would say he had a positive impact on at least those 1,200 Jews, and that he also served as an inspiration to many others.

A fourteen year old girl by the name of Malala Yousafzai was on her way home from school when a man with a gun approached a young girl waiting to leave school and asked her which one of them was Malala. One of the girls pointed to Malala and the man shot both of the girls. You see, the Taliban restricted young girls from attending school. In her own words, she said, “Dear friends, on the 9th of October, 2012, the Taliban shot me on the left side of my forehead. They shot my friends too. They thought that the bullets would silence us, but they failed.”

Boldly, she spoke on her 16th birthday, saying, "Terrorists thought that they would change my aims and stop my ambitions, but nothing changed in my life except this -- weakness, fear and hopelessness died, strength, power and courage was born." I would say she had a positive impact on others and served as an inspiration to many.

I’ve written about Steve Gleason, a former football player who is now suffering from ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease. In spite of his illness and in spite of being confined to a wheelchair, with the help of others, he has made the trek to Machu Picchu. He wasn’t going to let his illness prevent him from living. To me the most extraordinary thing about this man is that he creates video diaries for his son because he wants to make sure his son knows him. I would say he has had a positive impact on others and served as an inspiration to many.

I quote Mother Teresa regularly and she serves as both a hero and an inspiration to me. Mandela, Helen Keller, Martin Luther King, and a host of others have had impactful lives. Lives that weren’t wasted.

I think we forget sometimes about The Power Of One.

One kind word can make a difference in another’s bad day, just as one derogatory word, one unkind word, one thoughtless word can spoil an otherwise nice day for someone.

One kind action can make a difference to someone who is suffering alone and quietly. One kind action such as holding a door, a smile, a hello, a silent presence can have such a positive impact on someone, just as one thoughtless, careless, unkind action can hurt the already hurt and suffering soul of another.

One kind life can make a difference in the lives of others who are mindlessly following along, weary, tired, and about to give up, just as one mean, distasteful, sarcastic, and arrogant life can further degrade life and the soul of so many.

It comes down to The Power Of One. One word, One action, One life. And the magical thing about that is that it grows, this Power Of One. Most of the time, like the common cold or the flu, it is sometimes caught by others. And others become One of those who dispense a kind word, or a kind action, and who live a positive life.

How will you speak today? How will you act today? How will you live today?

Because it is a choice for you and for me. It is a choice to be positive or negative, to be kind or unkind, to be productive or wasteful. Because we have that Power, and if we share it . . . either positively or negatively . . . others will catch it and carry it to others. So I ask you again, how will you speak today? How will you act today? How will you live today? You and I have a choice. May that choice be for the good and for the betterment of all. That is The Power Of One. Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Positive Difference!

To My Readers:

A kind soul wrote the following about my series, The Lives Trilogy: Stolen Lives, Shattered Lives, Splintered Lives and the Prequel: Taking Lives

“These are some of the most amazing books I have ever read. I'm working on the last one now and have been waiting ever so impatiently for it to come out lol I started with the prequel and the other ones were out already, with the exception of the last one, which is now. From that book I went straight to downloading the rest of them and read them back to back. I couldn't put it down. If you are someone who likes to read I highly recommend these books!” 

http://tinyurl.com/hmyn7al

If you like thriller, mystery fiction, you might want to check them out. Available on Amazon in both Kindle and paperback, and free with Kindle Unlimited.

Thanks!

jl