Thursday, December 18, 2014

Joy, Midst Grief



As a high school principal, I get to watch some of the most heartwarming and wonderful things take place among my staff and students.  It is both humbling and inspiring, and quite honestly, I don’t have much to do with it.  Nothing, really.  It comes from the creative souls and generous giving hearts of those around me.

For example . . .

The Master Chief in our JNROTC program has quietly, for the past four or five years, organized the Cookie Project.  Cookies of all sorts are donated.  We’re talking huge quantities of all kinds of cookies, the amount and quantity that might induce a diabetic coma should you enter their door.  Six cookies are collected and placed into a container, and then all the containers are taken to area Rest Homes and Retirement Communities.  The beauty?  No one knows this is actually going on except the JNROTC Officers, the cadets, and their parents.  When asked why the newspaper wasn’t contacted or even our own school newspaper not notified, Master Chief stated that, “Sometimes, you do things because it is good to do good!”  People who might not receive anything this holiday season will get something, and more importantly, they will be remembered when perhaps they might not have been.

For example . . .

Our School Social Worker placed a small tree in the staff workroom.  The tree was decorated with paper ornaments, but not just any ornaments.  Each ornament listed an item from a needy family’s wish list, and the wish list came from five or six needy families, all anonymous- unknown by name to our faculty.  Our faculty and staff would then pick an ornament and purchase the item for the family.  The wonderful thing that took place was that the ornaments lasted perhaps a day and a half, and some folks were disappointed that they couldn’t get an ornament for the family.  Bicycles.  Books.  Dolls.  You name it, our staff bought it.  The family that is our staff will bring joy to families who might otherwise go without.

For example . . .

One of our teachers organizes the yearly food drive that is sponsored by the American Legion. In the past, this drive fed holiday dinners for approximately 300 families from our county.  These are families who would not be able to afford or provide a meal that most of us take for granted.  300 families!

And then . . .

This year, this Christmas season is a very real struggle for my family, for me.  We’ve decorated the house.  Kim will make cookies.  Presents will be wrapped and placed under the tree.  We’ll celebrate our Christmas as a family and then make the trek to Wisconsin to celebrate with our extended family.  Yet, the shadow and specter of my son’s death, which occurred just five months ago, shrouds what is typically a very special, happy time of year for us.  However, there have been wonderful, supportive staff members, even students, who check in on me to make sure I’m doing alright.  They acknowledge that it is tough going, but they offer support and I know they are there if needed, wanted.  And I’m so thankful to them, for them.  They are so appreciated.  And they do this for other folks like me, who have suffered a loss and are suffering quietly.  This staff is family to me.  While there are disagreements and squabbles- like most families- we care about one another and it shows in so many ways.

So there is balance. 

On one hand, joy and giving and acts of kindness without the expectation of recognition.  On the other hand, sadness- not just for my family and me- but for countless, nameless others who will go without, others who walk in pain and wear it like a cloak, others whose heart aches from suffering that goes, perhaps, unnoticed.

Joy, Midst Grief.

So I do ask you to do one thing:

As you celebrate your season, your holiday, your Christmas, absolutely and totally love those around you, those who are precious to you, and let them know, show them, that you love them, care for them.  I’ve learned that life is too short.  The unexpected, and sometimes the unwanted, happens.  Don’t let a day, an hour, a minute go by without telling and showing those who are important to you that they are important to you.  You can’t take their love for granted.  They can’t, and shouldn’t, take your love for granted.  Spend your time, and your love, wisely.  Something to think about . . .

God Bless Each of You, and May Each of You Have Peace and Joy this Christmas Season!
From My Family: Kim, Hannah, Emily and Me.  And from Maria, and yes, Wil, too!

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:

Thank you for purchasing and reading Taking Lives, the prequel to my trilogy, and for purchasing and reading Stolen Lives, the first book of the trilogy.  If they made you uncomfortable and perhaps kept you up at night, I guess I did my job.  But more than that, I hope I gave you a glimpse of the hope and the courage that can be found in our humanness.  I hope you caught a glimpse of the friendship, the caring and compassion, and the love that exists in our humanness.  If you did, then I know I did my job.

You can find Taking Lives by Joseph Lewis on Amazon.com and at this link:

You can find Stolen Lives by Joseph Lewis on Amazon.com and at this link:

Thanks,
jl

Friday, December 5, 2014

Advent And Thanksgiving



Thanksgiving is generally the kickoff to the Christmas and the Holiday season.  Ever since I was little, it always seemed to be so.

We prepare the meal.  We eat the meal.  We clean up after the meal.  We catch a football game or two. 

I think Thanksgiving needs to be bigger than that.  Thanksgiving needs to be bigger than a drumstick and some pumpkin pie and pigskin. 

And then after the meal, there is the late Thursday night shopping, followed by Black Friday shopping and weekend shopping, followed by Cyber Monday shopping.  This year, I noticed that as soon as Halloween was over, stores ripped down their displays and raised up the Christmas and Holiday displays.  It seemed as if Thanksgiving was hastily ushered off and thrown into the closet until it is pulled out for a quick salute for a day or two the next year.

Hardly seems fair that Thanksgiving was treated with such little respect.

Still, I do love the season of Advent.  And I do love what the Christmas season represents.  I just wish Thanksgiving was given its true and rightful place in our lives and in our hearts.

At times I think that Advent should be before Thanksgiving.  I mean, shouldn’t we prepare, make ready and make room, and then give thanks?  For example, doesn’t food taste better when one is hungry, when one is less full, and when one is prepared for it?

I think we’ve somehow lost the meaning of Advent.

Yes, we decorate the house.  We make the holiday breads and cookies.  We chop down a tree, throw lights on it, and place a meaningful ornament or two or twenty on it.  We draw names for gift giving.  We make lists and shop and wrap and tie everything up with a nice shiny bow.

Yet, like Thanksgiving, Advent is bigger than that.

But I’ve always been drawn to Advent as being bigger than that.  It is about preparing our hearts.  It’s about taking stock of our lives.  It’s about the preparation for what needs to be done, what needs to be repaired, and what needs to be rethought. 

Advent is about looking at our relationships- the relationship we have with ourselves as well as the relationship we have with others.  

And like Thanksgiving, we’ve treated, and treat, Advent with very little respect.

Advent has to be more important, more significant than twinkling lights and tinsel.  Advent has to be more important than the pile of boxes and bows.  At some point, we need to rediscover the meaning behind Thanksgiving and about Advent.  We need to give those two holidays, and ourselves, more respect than we show them, us. 

We rush about frantically trying to ‘get it all done’ before we collapse in a heap.  We worry about what we need to do, what needs to get done, when truly, really, what we’re worrying about and what we think is so important, really isn’t all that much to worry about, and it is really fairly unimportant and trivial.

There are relationships.  There are memories to build and nurture and grow.  There are smiles and laughter to behold and express.  There is time that needs to be spent with and on those whom we love.  And, we need to do this way before it is too late, before there is no time, and before time passes and is no longer.  So much more important.  Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference! 

Friday, November 21, 2014

Loss Of A Smile



One of my favorite Billy Crystal movies is City Slickers.  He played a character, Mitch Robbins, and he wasn’t a very happy person.  It seemed that he tried to find meaning in a lot of different ways, in a lot of different places, and never found it. 

His two best buddies planned yet another adventure and it involved going on a cattle drive.  I’ve actually been on a cattle drive when I lived in Wyoming, and it wasn’t all that romantic and it is not my idea of a vacation.  I do, however, look back on it fondly and it does cause me to smile.  Actually laugh, because being a “City Slicker” myself, I actually started a stampede.  Not with a coffee maker like Billy Crystal’s character did, but I caused a stampede nonetheless. 

As Billy Crystal's character contemplated whether or not to go on this adventure, he had a conversation with his wife and it went like this:

His wife said, “Go and... find your smile!”

“What if I can't?”

“We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.”

Sad thing when one can’t find a smile.

On Facebook several days ago, there was a video clip of a girl who took a picture or video of herself every day for one year.  The young girl lived in Syria.  At the very beginning, she was bright and bubbly and full of smiles and giggles.  And then war and conflict happened.  The video began to show her fear, and then her sadness.  The final shot of her celebrating her birthday showed a much different little girl.  She was in a hospital bed.  Her hair wasn’t as neatly kept.  There were dark circles under her eyes.  And as the cake and lit candles were held in front of her, there wasn’t a sign of the bright, bubbly little girl seen just one year previous.  There were no giggles.  There was no smile.

Sad, very sad, when a child loses a smile.  Sad when a child can’t find a laugh.

Loss Of A Smile.

You and I know people who go through life, a month, a week, a day, without a smile.  Sadness oozes out of their pores until there is nothing left but an empty . . . and lonely . . . shell.  And if a smile is managed, it never seems to touch one’s eyes.

Ever since my son, Wil, was killed, there have been staff members and friends checking in on me.  Just a “How are you doing today?”  or “How’s it going?” or “Everything going okay?”  Sometimes, someone sticks his or her head in my doorway and gives me a wave.  And the thing is, it will “hit” me every so often at odd times and without warning. 

But I have to admit that at times, I lose my smile. It might not be long before it comes back.  Usually there is something to smile about, to laugh about.  But for that brief moment . . . perhaps a long moment, the smile vanishes.

I’m not advocating that, like Billy Crystal’s character, one needs to go on a cattle drive to find a smile.  I don’t know that it takes something that drastic or grand to find a smile.

But I want you to know that as I write this, I am smiling, because there is much to smile about.  Great memories.  Great friends.  Knowing that people genuinely care and extend themselves, and reach out because, after all, we’re all in this together.  It’s life.  And we find life everywhere and in this life, there are things to smile about, to laugh about.  There are always things to be thankful for.  No need to ever lose a smile for very long.  Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers:
I can be found on Twitter at @JRLewisAuthor and my author page on Facebook can be found at www.Facebook.com/JRLewisAuthor

My two books are doing very well.

For only 99cents (free on Kindle Unlimited), you can purchase Taking Lives at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00MG2JAWE?ie=UTF8&at=aw-android-pc-us-20&force-full-site=1&ref_=aw_bottom_links It has received 27 reviews: 21Five Star and 4 Four Star. Taking Lives is the prequel to my trilogy.

For only $3.99 (free on Kindle Unlimited), you can purchase Stolen Lives at http://www.amazon.com/Stolen-Lives-Trilogy-Book-ebook/dp/B00PKKN6W4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415908221&sr=1-1&keywords=Stolen+Lives%2C+Joseph+Lewis It is fairly new so it only has 4 Reviews, but all of them have been Five Star.  Stolen Lives is the first book of the trilogy.

Thanks,
JL

Friday, November 14, 2014

If I Knew . . .



I remember as a psychology teacher way back when, I had my kids write their own epitaph.  The idea was for them to consider their life, how they’ve lived up to then, and write how they would want to be remembered.

I’m not sure why, but this week . . . all this week . . . I was thinking about Helen Keller, and the article that appeared in Atlantic Magazine that was titled, Three Days To See.  In it, she talked about what she would do if she was granted the gift of sight for three days. 

Sight is something we take for granted, don’t we?  Perhaps like a lot of things.

Randy Pausch was a professor who died of complications from pancreatic cancer.  He is best known for his “Last Lecture” that NBC News featured.  He lived his life to the very end- every last minute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo This link will take you to a wonderful talk he gave about achieving your childhood.

In one of my earlier writings, I wrote about Steve Gleason, a former football player who is suffering from ALS, Lou Gehrig’s disease.  Gleason and a team of volunteers and family members climbed a mountain even though he is pretty much confined to a wheelchair, but what I like most is that Gleason is recording thoughts and memories for his son to remember him by.  Again, another example of living life to the full, regardless of the cards dealt to him.

Which leads me to today’s thought and something I want you to consider, perhaps on a deeper level than one you normally go to when you read my writing . . .? 

If you knew you were going to die at a specific time on a specific day . . . let’s say, three days from now, what would you do?  How would you spend your remaining time?  With whom would you spend it?  And, knowing that two days from now you would die, what things would you say and to whom would you say them?  What thoughts, feelings, what emotions would you share and with whom? And, what would you keep to yourself, if anything?

My first thought upon reading the above paragraph is family- Kim, Hannah, Emily.  Then I broadened that to my remaining brothers and sisters, my nieces and nephews.  I’d throw in some very close friends, JT who is like a son to me.  Others.  Those are the people I would want to spend my remaining time with.

As for what I’d say or what I’d share, well, I think you know me well enough by now that I’d urge them to live, really live.  Not waste a moment on regret or worry.  Not spend one second thinking about what should have been done, what could have been done.  I’d remind them that what is in the past should be left there and that everyone needs to move on, move along and keep going. 

I don’t know that I’d waste my time on a final great meal, unless it was with those I mentioned above.  I don’t know that I’d spend the money to go to this place or that place to see this or that, again, unless it was with those I mentioned above.  Because for me, the last two or three days wouldn’t be about seeing this or that- it would be about spending some meaningful time with those who give me great joy, with those who I’ve loved the most.

And lastly, I’d probably tell them that if they shed even one tear, I’d come back and haunt the hell out of them, because I’d want to be remembered with smiles and laughter – because, I’ve said and done some really stupid stuff!

Okay, now that you’ve thought about that, I have to ask you this very important question: what are you waiting for?

Why should you wait until the very end to do what needs to be done?  Why are you waiting to spend time with those whom you love, long for?  Why are you waiting to say what needs to be said?  Why are you waiting to do what needs to be done? 

In whatever time you and I have on this earth, don’t you think we’ve wasted enough time? Don’t you think we’ve withheld too much of our thoughts and our feelings already?  This month, I turn 61 and I figure I’m already on the backside of the mountain.  I can’t waste any more time than I have already.  Haven’t you, too?  Something to think about . . .

Live Your Life, and Make A Difference!

To My Readers . . .
I want to thank you for taking a chance on a rookie writer by purchasing and reading my two books, Taking Lives, which is a prequel to my trilogy- the Lives Trilogy, and Stolen Lives, the first book in the trilogy.  Taking Lives debuted on August 4, 2014 and has not left the top 50 on Amazon’s 100 Best Sellers list.  Stolen Lives debuted last evening and I woke up to find that, as of this writing, it is #19, #64, and #89 on three different Amazon’s 100 Best Seller lists.

Thank you!

For those of you who haven’t yet, if interested, they can be found at:
Taking Lives:

Stolen Lives:

jl